Nowadays, both men and women work full-time. Therefore, they have to share household tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Score: 61.3

The majority of [ factual error ] males and females have full-time jobs and tight schedules in modern society. [disconnected from the prior sentence  ] People may argue that whether men and women should share equal domestic commitments. In my opinion, both of them should contribute to their family, but not strictly equally.

On the one hand, family tasks are a critical part for members to take part in family life. And[ punctuation error with coordinating word ] we consider them[ unclear pronoun ] as the significant responsibility that adults should burden. However, some people, particularly the old generation, have stereotype [ unclear ] and prejudice of gender. These people might think women are less driven by ambition, and thus they should pay more attention to family tasks than to their careers. By contrast, men are bread buyers of the family, and[incorrect coordinating word  ] domestic commitments would hold back their vocational progress.

I disagree with those excuses for one gender to escape from household tasks. However, sharing them equally is not the best way to eliminate inequality and maintain a good relationship. Men and women need to negotiate and find out their roles to play in the family. If a person gets more pressure from domestic commitments, less attention he or she can pay for their own career.[grammatical error concerning subjunctive voice  ] People who sacrifice their working time for[ article error ] family may lose the sense of social identity. Moreover, the one who take [  tense error] more financial responsibility should also take some time out of work and concentrate exclusively on family life. Domestic commitments would help them thrive as a responsible person.

In conclusion, I believe that both men and women should share their family tasks after work, but it is not necessary to finish them equally.

Score: 57.3

The number of dual-earner couples is increasing in modern society, (and both of them have full-time jobs and tight schedules)[Redundant/The term ‘dual-earner couples’ means the same.   ]. This [ unclear pronoun ]rises[wrong word  ] the question about how to divide family commitments (with combining their careers)[ unclear ]. In my opinion, both of them should contribute to their family, but not strictly equally.

On the one hand, family tasks are a critical part for members to take part in family life. Therefore we[ shift of person ] consider these tasks as the significant responsibility that adults should burden. However, some people, particularly the old generation[ punctuation error ] might think that women are less driven by ambition, and thus they should pay more attention to family tasks than to their careers. By contrast, men are bread buyers of the family, [ punctuation error ]thus domestic commitments would hold back their vocational progress.

I disagree with those excuses for one gender to escape from household tasks. However, sharing them equally is not the best way to eliminate inequality and maintain a satisfying relationship. What a dual-career couple need to do is reflecting and negotiating their domestic roles to play in the family. If a person choose[ grammatical error with subjunctive voice ] to dedicate himself more to domestic commitments, less attention he could [ grammatical error ]pay to their[ inconsistent pronoun ] own career. People who sacrifice their working time for the family might lose the sense of social identity. Moreover, the one who takes more financial responsibility should also take some time out of work and concentrate exclusively on family life. Domestic commitments would help them thrive as a responsible person.

In conclusion, I believe that both men and women should share their family tasks after work, but it is not necessary to finish them equally.

Score: 57.3

The number of dual-earner couples is increasing in modern society. [missing transitory word  ] People[  new idea introduced without preparation] might raise a question of how to divide their family commitments. In my opinion, both of them[ unclear pronoun ] should contribute to their family, but not strictly equally.

On the one hand, family tasks are a critical part for members to take part in family life. Therefore people [switching between couples and people makes the essay flow bad  ]consider these tasks as the significant responsibility that adults should burden. However, some people, particularly the old generation, might think that women are less driven by ambition, and thus they should pay more attention to family tasks than to their careers. By contrast, men are bread buyers of the family. Thus domestic commitments [ disconnected from the prior sentence since the Subject of this sentence fails to echo the Subject, or the Object, or the prior sentence. ]would more likely hold back their vocational progress.

I disagree with those excuses for one gender to escape from household tasks. However, sharing them[ unclear pronoun ] equally is not the best way to eliminate inequality and maintain a satisfying relationship. What a dual-career couple need to do is reflecting and negotiating their domestic roles. If a person chose to dedicate himself more to domestic commitments, he would pay less attention to his own career. People who sacrifice their working time for the family might lose the/a sense of social identity. Moreover, the one who takes more financial responsibility should also take some time out of work and concentrate exclusively[redundant adverb  ] on family life. Domestic commitments would help them thrive as a responsible person.

In conclusion, I believe that both men and women should share their family tasks after work, but it is not necessary to finish them [unclear pronoun  ]equally.

Nowadays, both men and women work full-time. Therefore, they have to share household tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree ？

Score: 57.5

Final Revision

The number of dual-earner couples is increasing in modern society. [inorganic connection from the prior sentence  ] Therefore [punctuation error  ] people might raise a question of how to divide their [redundant  ] family commitments. In my opinion, both men and women should dedicate themselves to their family[ unclear/obligations ] , but not strictly equally[awkward writing/grammatical error  ] .

On the one hand, family tasks [logical confusion  ] are a critical part for members[unclear word  ] (to take part in family life)[redundant  ] . Hence couples consider these tasks as the significant responsibility( that they should burden)[redundant  ] . However, some people, particularly the old generation, might think that women are less driven by ambition, and thus they[ unclear pronoun ] should pay more attention to family tasks than to their careers. By contrast, as bread buyers of the family, men are more likely to be career-oriented. Thus [punctuation error  ] domestic commitments might take up their time for reflecting their careers and handling their pressures[ word form error ] , and might hold back their vocational progress as consequences.[ grammatical error /confusing]

I disagree with those excuses for one gender[ unclear ] to escape from household tasks[logical confusion  ] . However, sharing these tasks equally[misplaced  ] is not the best way to eliminate inequality and maintain a satisfying relationship[unclear  ] . What a dual-career couple need to do is reflecting [ a wrong word ] and negotiating their domestic roles. If a person chose to dedicate himself more to domestic commitments, he would pay less attention to his own career. People [ person shift ] who sacrifice their working time for the family might lose a sense of social identity. Moreover, the one who takes[repetition  ] more financial responsibility should also take some time out of work and concentrate on family life[unclear  ] . Domestic commitments would help them thrive as a responsible person.[ redundant ]

In conclusion, I believe that both men and women should share their family tasks after work, but it[unclear pronoun  ] is not necessary[ wordy ] to finish these tasks equally.