Catherine Letter of Recommendation

  • Catherine Chung
    University: Ocean University of China
    Nationality: China
    June 20, 2019 at 4:19 am

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    It is a pleasure for me to introduce Ms. Mary Lee, one of my favorite students, to your prestigious university via this letter.

    I got acquainted with Ms. Mary Lee in 2016, when I taught her Folk Literature. She impressed me deeply with how she performed in my course. She not only attended every class with activeness and enthusiasm, but fulfilled the fieldwork research tasks I appointed with distinction. For example, when investigating the famous Pishikou at Laoshan Mountain in Shandong Province, she, through various means like recording and camera shooting, collected a great deal of first-hand material, which was shared in her class and on social platforms. This case let me see her information collection and integration skills, hard-working spirit and eagerness to share. Afterwards, our contact in my Folklore course enabled me to know her better. Impressively, in a class, she gave a public presentation, which vividly exhibited Cantonese morning tea culture and her own thoughts on this cultural phenomenon with the fusion of words, pictures and videos. I have to admit that I clearly felt her creative, analytical thinking, keen eye for culture phenomena, and zeal for culture research from her report. The high score of 93 she earned in the two courses once again gave proof of her solid academic foundation and decent study abilities.

    Special attention should also be given to her performance in a university-level innovation training program, where I worked as her team’s adviser. The project of her team centered on the research into the communication status and development tendency of Cantonese food culture and lasted for around one year. As the team leader, she organized all members to brainstorm, formulate research procedures, design and analyze questionnaires, carry out offline and online investigations, and work out the final research paper. In this process, she displayed excellent leadership skills when assigning tasks to teammates according to their interests, teamwork skills when having tacit cooperation with other members, as well as interpersonal and communication skills when having efficient communication with restaurant owners or guests. Meanwhile, her analysis and problem-solving skills manifested themselves as well. She effectively recorded my suggestions and concisely, accurately passed on them to teammates and fast took feasible actions in face of problems. Her perception, composure, decisiveness and efficiency were proved and recognized in this research.

    In closing, I would like to provide full support for the study plan of Hui and believe that she will shine at your university the way she has been doing at mine. I recommend her without reservation and will appreciate your favorable reply.

    Sincerely,

    **

     
    • This topic was modified 1 month ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This topic was modified 1 month ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This topic was modified 1 month ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This topic was modified 4 weeks ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    Lin Qiu
    June 24, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Score: 51.9

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    • Shorten this Letter of Recommendation;
    • Change/remove numerous exaggerated adverbs used;
    • Restrict each paragraph to 85 words;
    • Resolve numerous grammatical/syntactical/factual/logical/redundant problems.

    Problems Highlight

    Dear Sir or Madam,
     
    It is a pleasure for me to introduce Ms. Mary Lee, one of my favorite [discrimination against other students]students, to your prestigious university[The student is applying to a particular program rather the university in general] via this letter. [Fail to mention the primary purpose of this LOR]
     
    I got [Informal writing] acquainted with Ms. Mary Lee in 2016[Factual error; acquaintance involves a period of time], when I taught her [Factual error; the professor was NOT your personal tutor] Folk Literature. She impressed me deeply with how she performed in my course. She not only attended every class with activeness and enthusiasm, but fulfilled the fieldwork research tasks I appointed with distinction[Bad/redundant writing]. For example, when investigating the famous Pishikou at Laoshan Mountain in Shandong Province, she, through various means like recording and camera shooting, collected a great deal of first-hand material, which was shared [Passive]in her class and on social platforms. [Verbose]This case let me see her information collection and integration skills, hard-working spirit and eagerness to share. [Verbose]Afterwards, our contact in my Folklore course enabled me to know her better.[Making no sense] Impressively, in a class, she gave a public presentation, which vividly exhibited Cantonese morning tea culture and her own thoughts on this cultural phenomenon with the fusion of words, pictures and videos[Unclear].[Verbose] I have to admit that I clearly felt her creative, analytical thinking, keen eye for culture phenomena, and zeal for culture research from her report.[Verbose] The high score of 93 she earned in the two courses once again gave proof of her solid academic foundation and decent study abilities.
    [The evidence used in this paragraph fails to support the thesis. Worse, the content remains marginally related to the student’s intended graduate program of Folk Literature.]
     
    Special attention should also be given [Passive]to her performance in a university-level innovation training program, where I worked as her team’s adviser. [Verbose]The project of her team centered on the research into the communication status and development tendency of Cantonese food culture and lasted for around one year. [Verbose]As the team leader, she organized all members to brainstorm, formulate research procedures, design and analyze questionnaires, carry out offline and online investigations, and work out the final research paper.[Verbose] In this process, she displayed excellent leadership skills when assigning tasks to teammates according to their interests, teamwork skills when having tacit cooperation with other members, as well as interpersonal and communication skills when having efficient communication with restaurant owners or guests. [Verbose]Meanwhile, her analysis and problem-solving skills manifested themselves as well. She effectively recorded my suggestions and concisely, accurately passed on them to teammates and fast took feasible actions in face of problems. [Verbose]Her perception, composure, decisiveness and efficiency were proved [Passive]and recognized in this research.[Verbose]
    [Team-building skills are not the prominent quality that a professor should use lenghy words to describe in a reference letter.  He/She should elaborate and endorse your academic/professional preparation/potential/accomplishments that precisely align with the applicant’s proposed program.]
     
    In closing, I would like to provide full support for the study plan of Hui and believe that she will shine at your university the way she has been doing at mine. I recommend her without reservation and will appreciate your favorable reply.

    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. In general, an LOR should score 80+ to meet the admission requirements. You definitely need to REWRITE this reference letter.  Contact us should you need our proofreading service. 

     
    • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This reply was modified 4 weeks ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.