Children aged 12-16 are taught different subjects by different teachers, while younger children are taught by one teacher all day. Do you agree or disagree younger children can also benefit from being taught by different teachers every day?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Children aged 12-16 are taught different subjects by different teachers, while younger children are taught by one teacher all day. Do you agree or disagree younger children can also benefit from being taught by different teachers every day?

  • Cayla
    University: The university of SUChow
    Nationality: China
    June 28, 2019 at 9:39 am

    Essay Topic:Children aged 12-16 are taught different subjects by different teachers, while younger children are taught by one teacher all day. Do you agree or disagree younger children can also benefit from being taught by different teachers every day?

    Nowadays, due to fierce competition in society, schools attach more importance to adopt different teaching methods in order to provide students with better education. Some people claim that it is advisable for children to taught by one teacher all. However, from my point of view, children are taught different subjects by different teachers is an optimal opinion.

    To begin with, children are taught different subjects by different teachers contributes to attracting children’s attention. Supposing that a teacher teaches students all day, it is easier for children to feel bored and dull and lose interest. Hence, they are more likely to fall asleep and chat with other in the class. Obviously, different teachers draw children’s attention. Different teachers have different teaching method to improving children’s enthusiasm. So children will participate in class more actively, including listening carefully and thinking positively, which creates a constructive atmosphere. Furthermore, it gives teachers more inspiration during the processing of teaching students. In this way, they can make adjustments in time in order to enhancing the quality of teaching. Obviously, different teachers teach different subjects renders students more motivated and engage in the class.

    In addition, different teachers teach different subject is really imperative for students in order to master more solid knowledge and skills. For one thing, when children take different subjects by different teachers, they start to consider to different perspectives. Only in these way can these students cope with and comprehend difficult points in study more effectively. Besides, it encourages students to learn more different fields of knowledge from different teachers. By comparison, one teacher has limited time to prepare subjects and is not proficient in different fields of knowledge, so a teacher fail to teach students professional and comprehensive knowledge. For another, different teachers are of importance of cultivating children’s communicative with others. As a result, it is due to different teachers so that students have a command of more knowledge and skills.

    From what we discuss above, we draw a conclusion that different teachers teach children different subjects contributes to attracting children’s attention and mastering more knowledge and skills.

    June 28, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    Score: 50.6

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Remove problematic/unnecessary adverbs;
    • Restrict each paragraph to 85 words;
    • Shorten your essay to 320 words;
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Problems Highlight

    Nowadays, due to fierce competition in society, schools attach more importance to adopt different teaching methods in order to provide students with[Article error] better education. Some people claim that it is advisable for children to taught by one teacher all. However, from my point of view, children are taught [Passive] different subjects by different teachers is an optimal opinion.

    To begin with, children are taught[Passive] different subjects by different teachers contributes to attracting children’s attention. Supposing that a teacher teaches students all day, it is easier for children to feel bored and dull and lose interest. Hence, they are more likely to fall asleep and chat with other[wrong word] in the class. Obviously, different teachers draw children’s attention. Different[choppy sentence (sentences starting with the same word] teachers have different teaching method to[wrong word] improving children’s enthusiasm. So children will participate in class more actively, including listening carefully and thinking positively, which creates a constructive atmosphere. [Verbose]Furthermore, it gives teachers more inspiration during the processing of teaching students. In this way, they can make adjustments in time in order to enhancing [Grammatical Error]the quality of teaching. Obviously, different teachers teach different subjects renders students more motivated and engage in the class.[Verbose]

    In addition, different teachers teach different[repetition] subject[wrong word form] is really[unnecessary adverb] imperative for students in order to master more solid knowledge and skills.[Verbose] For one thing, when children take different subjects by different teachers, they start to consider to [grammatical error]different perspectives. [Verbose]Only in these way[wrong word form] can these students cope with and comprehend difficult points in study [wrong word form]more effectively. Besides, it encourages students to learn more different fields of knowledge from different teachers.[Verbose] By comparison, one teacher has limited time to prepare subjects and is not proficient in different[Repetition] fields of knowledge, so a teacher fail [grammatical error] to teach students professional and comprehensive knowledge.[Verbose] For another, different teachers are of[article error] importance of cultivating children’s communicative with others. [Verbose]As a result, it is due to different[repetition] teachers so that students have a command of more knowledge and skills.

    From what we discuss [tense error]above, we draw a conclusion [redundant]that different teachers teach children different[repetition] subjects contributes to attracting children’s attention and mastering more knowledge and skills. [Verbose]

    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision.  Regards.

    ————–

    Interested in research, innovation and entrepreneurship? You owe it to yourself to register with ChinaNudge.com, a global Open Innovation platform!

    Shi Yan
    University: 南开大学
    Nationality: 中国
    June 29, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Although nowadays younger children are taught by one teacher all day, there may have better ways to teach them. For example, their approach to different teachers may encourage them to study. I think younger children benefit from being taught by different teachers rather than are badly affected by different teachers.

    For one thing, different teaching methods can inspire their interests. For example, if a teacher likes to make students do the topic at class and only tells them why the correct answer being a certain one, it would be boring. Especially this teacher unfortunately teach certain younger children all day long, that’s a boring day when I don’t want to spend my time at all. For another, suppose that a teacher is strict to younger children, the one who made mistakes would have classes with his or her teacher all day long, he or her may feel so scared that the child can’t pay attention to the knowledge. The child may also have a bad mood until he or her leaves school.

    However, some people believe that one teacher teaches younger children all day can not only save human resources but also better respond to the needs of different children. Different teachers teach classes for a certain class will increase the workload of teachers because they have to schedule the timetable and prepare different contents for different classes. But if they teach for a whole day in one class, the drawback referred to above is diminished. Also if a teacher gets along with a group of kids everyday, he or she will know much about different children’s characteristics so that he or she could better meet children’s needs. This will benefit children’s growing.

    I personally believe that younger children should be taught different subjects by different teachers. A teacher who mainly help students learn a certain subject could also pay attention to their different needs. What’s more, it seems that wasting human resources is a superficial phenomenon. Teachers also need new scene to change their moods. By making younger children
    able to approach different teachers, they will learn with better moods and greater interests.

    In conclusion, younger children can benefit from being taught by different teachers every day, they will study with good moods and greater interests. The benefits overshadow its considered drawbacks.

    June 29, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    @ Shi Yan: Score: 67.6