Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

  • zhangzhuopu
    University: Shanghai Jian Qiao University
    Nationality: China
    June 23, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Other people think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems themselves in adulthood. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

    Whether children should obey rules or do things according their parents and teachers has been a debated topic. Some educationists hold the views that strict discipline in favour of regulating children, however, others argue that we should not stress too much rules on kids as it can cause significant impacts on their development. In my opinion, I do agree children should comply with some basic rules, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On one hand, some educationists support using rules. Rules help make children hold accountable for their behaviors. However, rules can make them realize how to behave in a social acceptable way such as table manner and how to greet with each other. Besides, safety rules also play an important role in kids lifes. For instance, riding bicycle with helmet and abide with traffic codes ect.

    On the other hand, others argue that stress too much rules on children can lead them uncompetitive in the further workforce. To be specific, they already formed the conventions that doing tasks or works by what others told them to do so or according the rules. As a result, they do not know how to plan their schedule adequately. That means there are high risks for them to fail in the workplace.

    As far as I am concerned, strict rules can stifle children’s creativity and imagination. As parents and teachers, we should try to find the balance between rules and freedom of children, which can in favour of their both mental and physical development.

    June 23, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    zhangzhuopu
    University: Shanghai Jian Qiao University
    Nationality: China
    June 24, 2020 at 12:50 am

    Whether kids should stick with rules or do what they have been asked has been a debated topic. Some seniors believe that strict discipline benefit of regulating kids. However, some educationists argue that we should not stress too many rules on them. From my point of view, I do agree children should abide some basic behavior codes, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On the one hand, some seniors believe rules help make children hold accountable for their behaviors. That is, children, unlike grownups, do not realize the consequence of what they done. And rules can make them aware how to behave in a socially acceptable way. For example, rules help them act proper table manners and greet each other politely. Besides, safety rules also share an important role in children’s lives. In this case, children can behave well in their socially formative years.

    On the other hand, some educationists hold the view that strict rules impede kids’ creativity and imagination in childhood. To be more specific, if children grew up in a stiff rules environment; it is hard for them to perform well in the workforce. That is, they lack of ability to plan; stick with every single rules and depend on others too much. As a result, they cannot complete the tasks by themselves. Finally, they might fail at workplace.

    As far as I am concerned, appropriate rules are conducive to kids’ development. But strict rules can stifle kids’ creativity and imagination. It is essential for seniors and educators to find a balance between rules and freedom of kids.

    June 24, 2020 at 3:10 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Whether kids should stick with rules or do what they (have been)[ are ] asked [ to do ] has been a debated topic.[ logical confusion: the two things mean the same/cliche ] Some seniors[ unclear word ] believe that strict discipline[ word form error ] benefit[ grammatical error ] of regulating kids[ grammatical error ] . However, some educationists argue that we should not stress[ wrong word ] too[ wrong adverb ] many rules on them[ unclear pronoun ] . From my point of view, (I do agree)[ redundant ] children should abide [  grammatical error] some basic behavior codes, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On the one hand, some seniors[ wrong word ] believe [ that ] rules (help make children hold accountable)[ unclear/wordy ] for their behaviors. That is, children, unlike grownups, do not realize the consequence of what they done[ grammatical error ] . And [  coordinating word error/punctuation error] rules can make them aware how to behave in a socially acceptable way. For example, rules help them act proper table manners and greet each other politely. Besides, safety rules also share [  wrong word] an important role in children’s lives. In this case, children can behave well in their socially formative years.

    On the other hand, some educationists hold the view that strict rules impede kids’ creativity and imagination (in childhood)[  redundant] . To be more specific, if children grew up in a (stiff rules environment)[ unclear ] ; it is hard for them to perform well in the workforce. That is, they lack of [grammatical error  ] ability to plan; (stick with every single rules and depend on others too much)[  grammatical error] . As a result, they [  unclear pronoun] cannot complete the tasks by themselves. Finally, they might fail at [ article error ] workplace.

    As far as I am concerned, appropriate rules are conducive to kids’ development. But strict rules can stifle kids’ creativity and imagination.[lack of transitory word/words  ] It is essential for seniors and educators to find a balance between rules and [  article error] freedom of kids.

    zhangzhuopu
    University: Shanghai Jian Qiao University
    Nationality: China
    June 24, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    Should we educate children according to rules? Some parents believe that we cannot emphasize strict disciplining too much. However, some educationists argue that we should not impose too many rules on children. From my point of view, children should abide by some basic conduct codes, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On the one hand, some parents believe that rules can hold children accountable for their behaviors. That is children, unlike grownups, do not realize the consequences of what they have done. Therefore, rules can make them aware of how to behave in a socially acceptable way. As an example, rules help them act proper table manners and greet each other politely. Aside from that, safety rules also play an important role in children’s lives. In this case, children can behave well in their formative years. Finally, they might fail at the workplace.

    On the other hand, some educationists hold the view that strict rules impede kid’s creativity and imagination development. To be more specific, if parents or teachers ask children do every single thing in terms of rules or regulations rigidly; it is hard for them to perform well in the later career. In fact, they lack ability to plan schedule independently. As a result, children cannot complete the tasks by themselves.

    As far as I am concerned, appropriate rules are conducive to kids’ development. But strict rules stifle children’s creative and imaginary abilities. It is essential for parents and educators to seek a balance between rules and the freedom of children.

    June 25, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    Score: ungraded

    (Should we educate children according to rules?)[ logically confusing ] (Some parents believe that we cannot emphasize strict disciplining too much.)[confusing  ] However, some educationists argue that we should not impose too many rules on children. [ confusing ]From my point of view, children should abide by some basic conduct codes, but they should not be restricted too much.

    On the one hand, some[ many sentences start with SOME ] parents believe that rules can hold children accountable for their behaviors[confusing  ]. That is children, unlike grownups, do not realize the consequences of what they have done[absolute statement  ]. Therefore, rules can make them aware of how to behave in a socially acceptable way. As an example[ wrong phrase ], rules help them act proper table manners and greet each other politely. Aside from that, safety rules also (play an important role in children’s lives)[unclear  ]. In this case, children can behave well in their formative years.[ logically confusing ] Finally, they might fail at the workplace.[ logically confusing ]

    On the other hand, some educationists hold the view that strict rules impede kid’s creativity and imagination development. To be more specific, if parents or teachers ask children do every single thing in terms of rules or regulations rigidly; it is hard for them to perform well in the later career. In fact, they lack ability to plan schedule independently. As a result, children cannot complete the tasks by themselves.

    As far as I am concerned, appropriate rules are conducive to kids’ development. But strict rules stifle children’s creative and imaginary abilities. It is essential for parents and educators to seek a balance between rules and the freedom of children.