Some people believe that college students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study. Others believe that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Some people believe that college students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study. Others believe that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

  • cpc
    University: Yuan Ze
    Nationality: Taiwan
    January 28, 2021 at 9:25 am

    Some people believe that college students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study. Others believe that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

    In my opinion, I would have an inclination to stand the first view that students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study. I think the first view could compliance with my own experience about my choice of a field of study.

    To be honest, I didn’t have any interests or good at until the period of the college. In the first year of the college, I majored in the Chemistry and Material Engineering which selected based on my entering-college score. However, I transferred to the major Computer Science in the next year because of my proclivity and imagination about the future. I realized that I didn’t want to study about the Chemistry or Physical relevantly and do alike work in the future. Making decision to transfer the major is such a milestone for me that made me find out what I’m really interest in and want to study passionally.

    With the example as above I mentioned, I think the most important thing is following my own heart to make the decision and do what I want. Without the passion, it is really hard to do anything and do well, even though the job in the future has high paid. I think doing what I want could foster me to be better and better, and being a top or a better person could take me to the target I want. To speak of the availability of jobs in our field of study, even though the availability of the job in our field of study is paucity, be a person who can’t be supplanted by any else could solve this problem.

    This is why I stand for the first view.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 28, 2021 at 5:06 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    cpc
    University: Yuan Ze
    Nationality: Taiwan
    January 30, 2021 at 2:38 pm

    In my opinion, I would be more likely to stand the first view that students should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field of study. I think the first view could compliance with my own experience about my choice of major .

    To be honest, I didn’t have any interests or good at before entering the college. In the first year of college, I majored in Chemistry and Material Engineering, which is selected based on my entering-college score. However, I transferred to Computer Science in the next year because of my preference and imagination about the future. I realized that I didn’t want to study on Chemistry or Physical relevantly or do similar work in the future. Making the decision to transfer the subject is such a milestone for me. Which inspired me to find out what I’m truly interested in and want to put passion into.

    With the example as above I mentioned, I think the most important thing is following my own heart to make the decision and pursue what I want. Without the passion, it is really hard to do anything and do well, even though there is a high-paid job. I think doing what I want could foster me to be better and better, and being a top or a better person could take me to the target I want. Furthermore, even though there is a paucity of the availability of the job in our field of study, be a person who can’t be supplanted by any else could twist this dilemma.   

    This is why I stand for the first view.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 9:01 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing )

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 9:02 pm

    In my opinion, I would be more likely to [ BE AFFIRMATIVE ]stand [with  ] the first view that students should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field of study. (I think)[ consecutive sentences starting with the same word I ] the first [ this ]view could compliance [ aligns optimally/perfectly ]with my own experience about[ wrong preposition ] my [ redundant ]choice of major .[ spacing error/wordy ]

    To be honest, I didn’t have any interests or good at before entering the college. In the first year of college, I majored in Chemistry and Material Engineering, which is selected based on my entering-college score. However, I transferred to Computer Science in the next year because of my preference and imagination about the future. I realized that I didn’t want to study on Chemistry or Physical relevantly or do similar work in the future. Making the decision to transfer the subject is such a milestone for me. Which inspired me to find out what I’m truly interested in and want to put passion into.

    With the example as above I mentioned, I think the most important thing is following my own heart to make the decision and pursue what I want. Without the passion, it is really hard to do anything and do well, even though there is a high-paid job. I think doing what I want could foster me to be better and better, and being a top or a better person could take me to the target I want. Furthermore, even though there is a paucity of the availability of the job in our field of study, be a person who can’t be supplanted by any else could twist this dilemma.

    This is why I stand for the first view.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 1, 2021 at 9:08 pm

    Partial revision. [complete the revision and resolve all issues mentioned in the feedback.]

    cpc
    University: Yuan Ze
    Nationality: Taiwan
    February 2, 2021 at 7:52 am

    I would be affirmative to stand with the first view that students should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field of study. This view aligns optimally with my own experience in choice of major.

    I didn’t have any interests or specific skills before entering the college. In the first year of college, Majoring in Chemistry and Material Engineering doesn’t trigger me a lot. The major which is selected based on my entering-college score. In the next year, I transferred to Computer Science because of my preference and imagination about the future. This movement made me realize that I didn’t want to study on Chemistry or Physical relevantly or do similar work in the future. The decision I made is such a milestone for me. The one which inspired me to find out what I’m truly interested in and want to put passion into.

    In the conclusion, I think the most important thing is following my own heart to make the decision and pursue what I want. In addition, doing what I want could engender lots of passions, which could foster me to be a better and better person. Without passions, even though there is a high-paid job, it is really hard to do anything and do well. Furthermore, even though there are few available jobs in our field of study, I think be a person who can’t be supplanted  by any else could twist this dilemma.   

     This is why I stand for the first view.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 3, 2021 at 2:41 am

    I would be affirmative to stand with the first view that students should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field of study. This view aligns optimally with my own experience in [article error  ] choice of major.

    I didn’t have any interests or specific skills before entering[/matriculating in  ] the[article error  ] college. In[/during  ] the first year of college [studies  ], Majoring[spelling error/coherence issue with the prior clause  ] in Chemistry and Material Engineering doesn’t[ tense error ] (trigger me a lot)[ unclear ]. The major (which is) [ I ] selected [therefore  ]based on my entering-college [university-entrance  ] score. In the next year, I transferred to Computer Science because of my preference and (imagination about the future)[unclear  ]. This movement[ /transition ] made me realize that I didn’t want to study on Chemistry or Physical[ Physics ] relevantly[ wrong word ] or do similar work in the future. The [ milestone  ]decision I made is such a milestone for me. The one which inspired [ helped ]me to find out what I’m[tense error  ] truly interested in and [ what I wanted ]want to put passion into.

    In the [article error  ]conclusion, I think the most important thing[in terms of choosing an academic path  ] is following[ to follow ] my own heart to make the decision and [then  ]pursue what I want. In addition, doing what I want could engender lots of passions, which could foster me to be [ shape me into ]a better and better person. Without passions[ word form error ], even though there is a high-paid job, it is really hard to do anything and do well. Furthermore, even though there are few available jobs in our field of study, (I think be a person who can’t be supplanted by any else could twist this dilemma.)[unclear  ]

    This is why I stand for the first view.

    cpc
    University: Yuan Ze
    Nationality: Taiwan
    February 4, 2021 at 6:42 am

    I would be affirmative to stand with the view that students should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field of study. This view aligns optimally with my experience of choosing the major.

    I didn’t have any interests or specific skills before matriculating in college. Therefore, during the first year of college studies, majoring in Chemistry and Material Engineering did not trigger me a lot of passions in this major. The major I selected based on my university-entrance score. In the next year, I transferred to Computer Science because of my preference and imagination about the future; the one I prefigured that I would own a job which I will be satisfied with and beloved to do. This transition made me realize that I didn’t want to study Chemistry or Physics continually or do similar work in the future. The milestone decision helped me to find out what I was truly interested in and what I wanted to put passion into.

    In conclusion, I think the most important thing in terms of choosing an academic path is to follow my heart to make the decision and then pursue what I want. In addition, doing what I want could engender lots of passions, which could shape me into a better person. If I have no passions, even though there is a high-paid job, it is difficult to do anything well. Furthermore, even though there are few available jobs in our field of study, I think be a person who can’t be supplanted by any else could twist this dilemma, the paucity of unoccupied works.   

    This is why I stand for the first view.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 6, 2021 at 2:49 am

    On-hold.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 6, 2021 at 2:52 am

    I would be affirmative to stand with [ strongly support ]the view that students should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field of study. [ In fact, this ]This view aligns optimally with my experience of choosing the major. [draws on more evidence, in addition to your personal experience, to support your thesis.   ]

    I (didn’t have any interests or specific skills)[avoid using not  ] before matriculating in college. Therefore, during the first year of college studies, majoring[needless shift of subject  ] in Chemistry and Material Engineering (did not)[avoid using not  ] trigger me (a lot of)[ informal ] passions[word form error  ] in[wrong preposition  ] this major. The major [ In other words, ]I selected [ I was assigned to this major  ] based on my university-entrance score [rather than my personal interest  ]. In the next [following  ]year, I transferred to Computer Science because of my preference (and imagination about the future)[unclear  ]; (the one I prefigured that I would own a job which I will be satisfied with and beloved to do.)[unclear  ] This transition made me realize that I didn’t want to [continue  ] study Chemistry or Physics continually[studies  ] or do similar work in the future. The[ This ] milestone [/critical  ]decision helped me to find out what I was truly interested in [ identify my genuine interest ]and what I wanted to put passion into.

    In conclusion, I think[ therefore believe that ] the most important thing in terms of choosing an[my  ] academic path is to follow my heart[ , ] to make the [a self-interested  ]decision[ , ] and then pursue what I want. In addition, doing what I want could [ also ]engender( lots of passions, which could shape me into a better person)[ unclear ]. If I have[grammatical error  ] no passions[word form error  ], even though there is a high-paid job, it is[ grammatical error ] difficult to do anything well. Furthermore, (even though )[ repetition ]there are few available jobs in our field of study, (I think be a person who can’t be supplanted by any else could twist this dilemma, the paucity of unoccupied works.)[ unclear ] [make a shorter conclusion paragraph. Don’t introduce new details to the conclusion paragraph.  ]

    This is why I stand for the first view.

     

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