1. Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing 1. Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Shuyu
    University: Bangkok University
    Nationality: China
    December 19, 2020 at 7:24 am

    Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    In the current digitalized era, it is often undoubtedly argued that pop computer games are damaging all-ages people who are addict to play it with less knowledge value . Based on my perspective, it depends on different situations.

    On the one hand, the first reason parents who convict to reduce their children’s screen time because of devoting long time in these games would harm users eyesight, health, etc.

    Specifically, players who are paying rapt attention to electric games along with sedentary status, would bring about comprehensively deteriorating brain, mental state and so forth. Take famous Hunger Game as an example , under-ages who playing this game may copy what they see in the screen, violent imagines ,physical conflict. Aside from that, the another reason is children who is during adolescence are easily influenced by media and internet-related games, That appear to cause some crime awareness.

    On the other hand, there are several proper games may possibly upgrading users intelligence. For instance , games which aim to providing educational values by institutions can be promoted in students brain training. For this reason ,institutions constructing a website which has attractive page, players have to calculate questions in order to go to next level .

    Conclusively speaking, I believe that playing appropriate skill game and lesser violent or martial games are profit for peoples including decrease parents worries. In doing so, they would fulfill senses of achievements not less than go increasing viral computer games.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 10, 2021 at 6:58 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Shuyu
    University: Bangkok University
    Nationality: China
    January 11, 2021 at 3:47 am

    In the current digitalized era, it is often undoubtedly argued that pop computer games are damaging all-ages people who are addicted to play these games with less knowledge. Based on my personal perspective, some CD games with little value while others have educational value, encourage children to make the best choice should be take into account.

    On the one hand, parents who convict to reduce their children`s screen time because of devoting a long time in these games would harm users ‘eyesight, health, etc. Specifically, players who are paying rapt attention to electric games along with sedentary lifestyle, would be deteriorating brain, mental state. Take Hunger Game as an example, under-ages who playing this game may copy what they see on the screen, violent images, such as physical conflict and so on. Aside from that, children who are during adolescence are easier influenced by media and CD-related games that can be viewed as cause some crime awareness.

    On the other hand, there are several proper games can possibly upgrading users’ intelligence. For instance, games which aim to providing knowledge values by educational institutions can promoting in students’ brain training. For this reason, institutions constructing a website that has an attractive page, players have to calculate questions to go to the next level.

    Conclusively speaking, I believe that playing appropriate skill games and lesser violent or martial games are profit for peoples as well as decreasing parents` worries. In doing so, they would fulfill senses of achievements not less than go increasing viral computer games.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 11, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 65% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Shuyu
    University: Bangkok University
    Nationality: China
    January 12, 2021 at 9:17 am

    In the current digitalized era,  pop computer games are unfavorable to all-ages players, it is often undoubtedly argued that play video-related game are harming as well as less knowledge value to children. Based on my personal perspective, some types of CD games with little value even detrimental,  while others have educational value, encourage children to make the best choice should be take into account.

    On the one hand, parents who believe that children’s screen time should be cut down is not unfounded. Specifically, kids will pay rapt attention to electric games when they playing those CD games,  likewise, it would harm their eyesight and take away times, which originally belong to outdoor activities. In addition, those under-ages players appear to encounter more serious problem, in other words, they are easier influenced by media and CD-related games. To illustrate, children  may copy what they see on the screen, such as violent images of a game, physical conflict ,etc. Furthermore, these possible situation can be viewed as cause some crime awareness.

    On the other hand, there are several wholesome games can decrease the damage causes by general video games. For instance, those institutions create games for providing knowledge values , can be use for instead those CD games as well . Similarly, students who playing these educational games will get better understanding for certain knowledge, also they would fulfill senses of achievements not less than go increasing viral general computer games.

    Conclusively speaking, I believe that playing appropriate skill games are profit for all-ages people. In doing so, parents’ worries can be decreased as well.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 12, 2021 at 7:21 pm

    Score: 54.4

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 35% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.