Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music or films. However, some people think governments should impose certain restrictions on them.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music or films. However, some people think governments should impose certain restrictions on them.

  • superdanny
    University: Central China Normal University
    Nationality: China
    May 13, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    TOPIC: Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music or films. However, some people think governments should impose certain restrictions on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    In many countries, the right of speech is guaranteed by their laws, which means people could publish whatever they want in communal areas. However, in my perspective, I believe the government should censor the content published by all people including creative artists because inappropriate comments can mislead people as well as impose a detrimental influence on their audience.

    Creative artists do not represent truth invariably, and the message they conveyed can be misleading. Many creative artists rely on social media to make a living. Admittedly, most of the time they attempt to enlighten viewers via their own way, while inevitably they may motivate by self-interest and spread fake information and gossips. For instance, some bloggers may post rumors on Twitter in order to attract a suddenly increased web-traffic, which can bring them with a considerable income. As they have infinite followers, the impact could be huge, and if those followers are not able to tell the right from wrong, they may even dwell on it for a while and chaos will ensue.

    However, a lot of creative artists do benefit society. They write their own deep insights on their blog or Instagram, and this, often guide people to think more critically. However, their ideas can sometimes be too cutting-edge that the average people cannot follow up with them. Since people on the internet probably come from different backgrounds and have various degree of education, they may not fully understand everything uploaded by those artists; Accordingly, an array of misinterpretations could be produced and can end up with unpleasant outcomes.

    To conclude, although the ideas shared by creative artists are sometimes useful, it could be a double-edged weapon if they are not regulated and especially when we have no idea how their viewers learn from them. Thus, I think the government should restrain the content published by creative artists.

    superdanny
    University: Central China Normal University
    Nationality: China
    May 13, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    I feel satisfied for this article though I know there are many sentences exceed 20 words.

    Just wondering how much score can I get~

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 14, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    Score: 55.5

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Convert passive-voice sentences into their active counterparts;
    2. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Problems Highlight

    In many countries, the right of xxx is guaranteed by[Passive Voice] their laws, which means people could publish whatever they want in communal areas. However, in my perspective, I believe the government should censor the content published by all people including creative artists because inappropriate comments can mislead people as well as impose a detrimental influence on their audience. [Verbose/Hard to Read]
     
    Creative artists do not represent truth invariably[Problematic Adverb], and the message they conveyed can be misleading. Many creative artists rely on social media to make a living. Admittedly, most of the time they attempt to enlighten viewers via their own way, while inevitably[Problematic Adverb] they may motivate by [Passive Voice/Grammatic Error]self-interest and spread fake information and gossips. [Verbose/Hard-to-Read]For instance, some bloggers may post rumors on Txxx in order to attract a suddenly increased web-traffic, which can bring them with a considerable income. [Verbose/Hard to Read]As they have infinite followers, the impact could be huge, and if those followers are not able to tell the right from wrong, they may even dwell on it for a while and chaos will ensue.[Verbose/Hard-to-Read]
     
    However, a lot of creative artists do benefit society. They write their own deep insights on their blog or Inxxx, and this, often guide people to think more critically. However, their ideas can sometimes be too cutting-edge that the average people cannot follow up with them. Since people on the internet probably [Problematic Adverb] come from different backgrounds and have various degree of education, they may not fully understand everything uploaded by those artists; Accordingly, an array of misinterpretations could be produced[Passive Voice] and can end up with unpleasant outcomes.[Verbose/Hard-to-Read]
     
    To conclude, although the ideas shared by creative artists are sometimes useful, it could be a double-edged weapon if they are not regulated and especially when we have no idea how their viewers learn from them. [Verbose/Hard-to-Read]Thus, I think the government should restrain the content published by creative artists.
    Comment: There are more issues than those highlighted. Rewrite your essay.