Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development

  • ZYY_Tina
    University: Dalian University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 7, 2020 at 4:31 pm

    Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    With the development of globalization, an increasing number of people are concerned about the methods of international aids. However, whether global organizations are ought to help less developing countries with economic aid or practical aid as well as giving suggestions is a controversial issue. In my view, two aid methods mentioned above are both significant.

    The obvious argument for financial aids centers around the idea that economy is the fundamental factor for country developing. This is because only when the country has enough money, it could buy large amount of equipments and attract high-quality talents. Apart from that, it can also learn advanced technology and improve the educational facilities. This is means that many multi-national companies will invest in the developing countries. In other words, economic aid creates a kind circulation.

    That is not to say that other aids are less important to developing countries. It is also true that we should offer practical aid and suggestions to poverty countries. Money will run out one time; therefore, the most important thing is to create more opportunities of employment and give beneficial experience so that developing countries can develop themselves without aids. For example, attributing to the Chinese ‘One belt, One road’, countries along the road improve their infrastructures and trade more frequently all across the world. As a result, physical aid and reasonable advice play a role in the developing countries.

    In summary, economy is the root of the country development. Meanwhile, we shouldn’t ignore practical aid and beneficial suggestions. Only by doing both of that can we make sure that the world will become better.

    ZYY_Tina
    University: Dalian University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 7, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    ‘physical aid’ is not equal to the ‘practical aid’.

    October 14, 2020 at 4:17 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Article errors
    2. Spelling errors
    3. Make your argument clear in the introduction – what is your argument and what is some short reasoning?
    4. Wordy – simplify and remove unnecessary words
    5. Word choice error

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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