Advertising makes people buy things that they don’t need.
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June 6, 2021 at 4:54 am
Advertising makes people buy things that they don’t need.
The influence of advertisements has continually been a controversial topics. To my way of thinking, the power of advertising nowadays is so strong that people’s purchase desire is spurred by advertisements rather than true demands in most times.
To begin with, advertising helps to improve the popularity and trustworthiness of a brand greatly. By high-frequency broadcasting of commercials on TV or on the Internet which indicates these brands are worth trusting, audience can gradually develop a trust of these brands. Even more, advertising can adjust customers’ preferences to what the commercials recommend. An effective way to achieve this purpose is to point out the flaws of customers. For instance, by showing the skin problems that ladies face, the commercials of skin care products tend to promise their products can solve these problems to expand the selling.
Furthermore, intriguing by advertisements, customers may purchase goods blindly. In other words, their purchase desire is arisen by commercials, which may lead to unnecessary buying. A good case in point is promotions within advertisements. Usually featured by short time and huge discount, promotions are very useful in attracting people to buy their goods. After the crazy purchase, customers may find many things that they do not need actually.
Admittedly, it is also true that we purchase things based on our natural desire, such as food and other necessities. In addition, our purchase behaviors are also influenced by our peers and money capabilities. E. g., to show their social status, rich people are likely to buy luxury goods no matter whether they watch related advertisements.
To conclude, I concede that people’s buying behaviors are affected by many other factors such as people around them and their money capacities. Nevertheless, I am still convinced that advertising exerts a significant impact on spurring people’s buying interest. Hence, it implies that we should enhance our recognizing ability when purchasing.
June 6, 2021 at 1:58 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 30% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
- Lots of grammatical errors and redundant adverbs/adverbial phrases.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
June 7, 2021 at 12:45 pmThe influence of advertisements has been a topic in the limelight. To my way of thinking, the power of advertisements today is so overwhelming that people’s purchase desire, most of the time, is sparked by advertisements rather than their real needs.
To begin with, advertisement can enhance customers’ trustworthiness of a brand and even change their buying preference. This is because commercials which indicates the product is of high quality is broadcast with such dense frequency. As a consequence, audience will gradually develop a trust of these brands. What’s more, advertisements can even adjust customers’ preferences to what the commercials recommend. A good case to illustrates this point is those commercials of skin-care products which show the skin problems that ladies face and successfully make female customers believe they really have this kinds of problems. By claiming their products’ function in solving the problems, the sales tend to grow quickly.
Besides, commercials which attempt to attract people’s attentions can cause unnecessary buying. In most cases are promotions. Featured by short time and great discount, promotions are very useful in attracting people to buy their goods. Intriguing by the low price, people snap up things crazily. After the blind purchase, customers usually find many things that they do not actually need. Another case is celebrity endorsement in commercials. Many young girls buy things simply because of their admiration of the endorsers. To increase the sales of these products, they can buy it excessively rather than according to their real demand.
Admittedly, we purchase things based on our natural desire such as food to feed ourselves, and that is why we exchange things with others at the beginning. What’s more, our purchase behaviors are also influenced by our peers and money capabilities. E. g., rich people are likely to buy luxury goods to show their social status, no matter whether they watch related advertisements.
To conclude, I concede that people’s buying behaviors are affected by many other factors such as other people around them and their personal money capacities. But I am still convinced that advertising exerts a significant impact on people’s buying decisions. Hence, it implies that we should enhance our recognizing ability when purchasing.
June 8, 2021 at 9:12 amThe influence of advertisements has been a topic in the limelight (this sentence does not add much, why is it in the limelight?). To my way of thinking (simplify), the power of advertisements today is so overwhelming that people’s purchase desire (word choice error), most of the time, (delete/simplify) is sparked by advertisements rather than their real needs.
To begin with, advertisements can enhance (choose a different word, perhaps “improve”) customers’ trustworthiness of (trust in) a brand and even change their buying preference (word choice error). This is because (simplify to make the transition smoother) commercials which indicates the product is of high quality (simplify) is broadcast with such dense (word choice error) frequency. As a consequence, the audience will gradually develop a trust of (preposition error) these brands. What’s more, advertisements can even adjust customers’ preferences to what the commercials recommend. A good case to illustrates this point (simplify) is those commercials of skin-care products which show the skin problems that ladies face and successfully make female customers believe they really have this kinds of problems (simplify). By claiming their products’ function in solving the problems (singular), the (delete) sales tend to grow quickly.
Besides, commercials which (pronoun error) attempt to attract people’s attentions (singular) can cause unnecessary buying. In most cases are promotions (incomplete sentence, what does this mean?). Featured by short time (unclear what this means) and great discount, promotions are very useful in attracting people to buy their goods (simplify to “consumers”). Intriguing (verb tense error) by the low price, people snap up things crazily. After the blind (word choice error) purchase, customers usually find many things that they do not actually need. Another case (case of what?) is celebrity endorsement in commercials. Many young girls buy things simply because of (due to) their admiration of the endorsers. To increase the sales of these products, they can (delete) buy it (specify what “it” is) excessively rather than according to their real demand.
Admittedly, we purchase things based on our natural desire such as food to feed ourselves (redundant, delete), and that is why we exchange things with others at the beginning (unclear what this means). What’s more, our purchase (consumer, this word should be used more with this topic) behaviors are also influenced by our peers and money capabilities (word choice errors). E. g., (“For example”, do not use e.g. like this) rich people are likely to buy luxury goods to show their social status, no matter whether they watch related advertisements (good point, but this can be written better).
To conclude, I concede that people’s buying (can use a better word here) behaviors are affected by many other factors such as other people around them and their personal money capacities (word choice error). But I am still convinced that advertising exerts a significant impact on people’s buying decisions. Hence, it implies that we should enhance our recognizing ability when purchasing (unclear what this means).
June 8, 2021 at 9:12 amThe influence of advertisements has been a topic in the limelight (this sentence does not add much, why is it in the limelight?). To my way of thinking (simplify), the power of advertisements today is so overwhelming that people’s purchase desire (word choice error), most of the time, (delete/simplify) is sparked by advertisements rather than their real needs.
To begin with, advertisements can enhance (choose a different word, perhaps “improve”) customers’ trustworthiness of (trust in) a brand and even change their buying preference (word choice error). This is because (simplify to make the transition smoother) commercials which indicates the product is of high quality (simplify) is broadcast with such dense (word choice error) frequency. As a consequence, the audience will gradually develop a trust of (preposition error) these brands. What’s more, advertisements can even adjust customers’ preferences to what the commercials recommend. A good case to illustrates this point (simplify) is those commercials of skin-care products which show the skin problems that ladies face and successfully make female customers believe they really have this kinds of problems (simplify). By claiming their products’ function in solving the problems (singular), the (delete) sales tend to grow quickly.
Besides, commercials which (pronoun error) attempt to attract people’s attentions (singular) can cause unnecessary buying. In most cases are promotions (incomplete sentence, what does this mean?). Featured by short time (unclear what this means) and great discount, promotions are very useful in attracting people to buy their goods (simplify to “consumers”). Intriguing (verb tense error) by the low price, people snap up things crazily. After the blind (word choice error) purchase, customers usually find many things that they do not actually need. Another case (case of what?) is celebrity endorsement in commercials. Many young girls buy things simply because of (due to) their admiration of the endorsers. To increase the sales of these products, they can (delete) buy it (specify what “it” is) excessively rather than according to their real demand.
Admittedly, we purchase things based on our natural desire such as food to feed ourselves (redundant, delete), and that is why we exchange things with others at the beginning (unclear what this means). What’s more, our purchase (consumer, this word should be used more with this topic) behaviors are also influenced by our peers and money capabilities (word choice errors). E. g., (“For example”, do not use e.g. like this) rich people are likely to buy luxury goods to show their social status, no matter whether they watch related advertisements (good point, but this can be written better).
To conclude, I concede that people’s buying (can use a better word here) behaviors are affected by many other factors such as other people around them and their personal money capacities (word choice error). But I am still convinced that advertising exerts a significant impact on people’s buying decisions. Hence, it implies that we should enhance our recognizing ability when purchasing (unclear what this means).
