At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

  • rucamazing
    University: Renmin university
    Nationality: China
    July 26, 2020 at 4:17 pm

    Do you agree or disagree? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    I disagree with the statement. My opinion is that although sports and social activities are important at universities and colleges, as for financial support, classes and libaries should receive more. My points are as follows.

    There is no doubt that sports and social activities have high importance. College students may be burdened with tasks like term papers, lab reports, group projects, assignments and other staff. So it’s vital for them to relax themselves mentally and physically through sports like soccer, basketball, swimming or social activities like singing together after a whole day busy with studying. These refreshing activities will renew students’ bodies and brains.

    However, we should clearly know that universities are the place for learning. To ensure high quality of teaching, the classes most receive high financial support. The money should be used to hire more famous and experienced professors and to purchase newer and more convenient facilities. To ensure high quality of self-learning, the libararies should also receive high finacial support. Thus there will be more learning resouces for students who want to get higher academic accomplishment. The universities and colleges’ money should be reasonably and rationally divided to benefit their students.

    Moreover, by providing larger percentage financial support for classes and libraries, universities and colleges are more likely to do benifits for the whole society because there will be more young workers of high quality. Those who have made use of better classes and libararies to polish themselves in the college period will be better teachers, better scientists, better managers, better doctors and so on. They will even be better parents so as to teach their next generation. This will do good to our society.

    All in all, I firmly hold the view that although sports and social activities are important as well, classes and libraries must receive more financial support.

    July 27, 2020 at 9:35 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Make your argument in the introduction clear – why should they receive more funds?
    2. Wordy – remove unnecessary words and sentences.
    3. Spelling errors
    4. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    5. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    rucamazing
    University: Renmin university
    Nationality: China
    July 28, 2020 at 9:35 am

    I’m afraid I have to disagree with the statement. In my opinion, classes and libraries should receive more financial support than sports and social activities. My reasons are as follows.

     

    There is no doubt that sports and social activities have high importance. College students may be busy with tasks like term papers, lab reports, group projects, assignments, and other staff. So it’s necessary for them to relax mentally and physically through sports like swimming and social activities like getting together with classmates. These activities will renew students’ bodies and brains after a whole day studying.

     

    However, we should know that universities or colleges are the place for learning. To ensure the quality of teaching, the classes must receive enough financial support. The university should use most money to hire famous and experienced professors and to purchase new and convenient facilities. To ensure the quality of self-learning, the libraries should also receive abundant financial support. Thus there will be more learning resources for students who want to get higher academic accomplishment. The universities and colleges’ money should be reasonably and rationally used to benefit their students.

     

    Moreover, by providing larger percentage financial support for classes and libraries, universities and colleges are more likely to do benefits for the whole society because there will be more young workers of high quality. Those who have made use of better classes and libraries to polish themselves in the college period will be better teachers, better scientists, better managers, better doctors and so on. They will even be better parents so as to teach their next generation. This will do good to our society.

     

    All in all, I firmly hold the view that although sports and social activities are important as well, classes and libraries must receive more financial support.

    July 28, 2020 at 2:05 pm

    I’m afraid I have to disagree with the statement. In my opinion, classes and libraries should receive more financial support than sports and social activities  [ should ]. My reasons are as follows[ summarize the reasons ].

    There is no doubt that sports and social activities have high importance. College students may be busy with [ academic ]tasks like [ such as ] term papers, lab reports, group projects, assignments, and other staff. So it’s[it is  ] necessary for them to relax mentally and physically [redundant  ]through[unclear; by doing ] sports like swimming and [ engaging in ]social activities like getting together with classmates. These activities will[can  ] renew (students’ bodies and brains)[ factual error ] after a whole day [of/or whole-day  ]studying.

    However, we should know that universities or[and  ] colleges are the place[places  ] for [high-quality  ]learning. To ensure the quality [ education ] of teaching, the classes[ higher academic institutions ] must receive enough[ /adequate ] financial support[, which enables them to ]. The university should use most money to hire famous[ prominent ] and experienced professors and to purchase new and convenient [ cutting-edge ]facilities.

    [Additionally, to help students with ]To ensure the quality of self-learning, the libraries should also receive abundant financial support[ funding ]. Thus there will be more learning resources for [  inquisitive and ambitious ]students who want to get higher academic accomplishment[ accomplishments ]. The universities and colleges’ money should be reasonably and rationally used to benefit their students.

    Moreover, by providing [ a ]larger percentage [ of ] financial support for classes and libraries, universities and colleges are more likely to do benefits for[ could reward] the whole society because there will be more [with more ]young [ high-quality/ competent young ]workers of high quality. [  Also, those young minds]Those who have made use of better classes and libraries to polish themselves in the college period [ could later become socially needed talents such as ]will be better teachers, better scientists, better managers, better [and  ]doctors and so on. They will [ could ]even be[ become ] better [ more informed ]parents so as to teach [ that could ]their [ cultivate the ]next generation [more successfully  ]. This will do good to our society.

    All in all, I firmly hold the view [believe  ]that although sports and social activities are important as well, classes and libraries must receive more financial support[repetition from the prompt  ].