Drivers have to pay a fee for driving in busy city streets when there is a great amount of traffic.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Drivers have to pay a fee for driving in busy city streets when there is a great amount of traffic.

  • DK
    University: The University of Tokyo
    Nationality: japanese
    June 6, 2020 at 6:21 pm

    Drivers have to pay a fee for driving in busy city streets when there is a great amount of traffic.

    In contemporary society, traffic congestion has become a severe issue for citizens’ s daily commute. However, at the same time, cars have become inalienable parts of people’s daily life. Recently, there is a policy that states that drivers should pay a fee for driving in busy city streets when there is heavy traffic. From my personal view, I cling to an unshakable belief that this measure is not an ideal solution.

    To begin with, Drivers should not pay the price for traffic jams as they are the victims of heavy traffic themselves. Most drivers have to stand continuous air pollution and noise pollution when they are waiting. Who enjoys driving to work with the constant traffic jams, roadworks, and the impatient hooting of white-van man? The answer is no one. Except for physical discomforts, Most drivers have to suffer from worrying about the consequences of being late. Asking drivers to pay can only make them feel worse about themselves.

    Furthermore, The traffic jam is a convoluted phenomenon, and the driver is just a small part that contributes to the final aftermath. Other factors, such as unreasonable road planning, terrible weather, and unavoidable traffic accidents need to take into account. For example, It used to take me an hour to get home because I was trapped in a traffic jam. The number of cars was the same as usual. However,  fruits and vegetables rolled from a truck were all over the road so people had to get off cars to help clean off.

    Finally, this strategy can lead to unprecedented aftermaths. Some taxi drivers make a living by carrying passengers to specific destinations, so it is inevitable for them to face traffic jams. This policy may be the straw that broke the camel’s back as the government takes money from their meager wages. Therefore, taxi drivers may organize together to go on strike for justice. As a result, road traffic would be severely dislocated.

    Due to the reasons mentioned above, I reinforce my standpoint that it is not wise to fine drivers in heavy traffic to control traffic.

    June 8, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    Score: 66.2

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    June 9, 2020 at 10:24 pm

    In contemporary society, traffic congestion has become a severe issue for citizens’ s daily commute. However, at the same time, cars have become inalienable parts of people’s daily life. Recently, there is [tense error/recently  ]a policy that states that drivers should pay requiring a fee for driving in busy city streets when there is heavy traffic. From my personal view, I cling to an unshakable belief that this measure is not an ideal solution.

    To begin with, Drivers drivers should not pay the price for traffic jams as they are the victims of heavy traffic themselves. Most drivers have to stand continuous air pollution and noise pollution when they are waiting. Who enjoys driving to work with the constant traffic jams, roadworks, and (the impatient hooting of white-van man) [ unclear ]? The answer is no one. Except for physical discomforts, Most most drivers have to suffer from worrying about the consequences of being late. Asking drivers to pay can only make them feel worse about themselves.

    Furthermore, The traffic jam is a convoluted phenomenon, and the driver is just a small part that contributes to the final aftermath. Other factors, such as unreasonable road planning, terrible weather, and unavoidable traffic accidents, (need to take into account) [grammatical error  ]. [For example, It it used to take me an hour to get home because I was trapped in a traffic jam. The number of cars was the same as usual. However,  fruits and vegetables rolled from a truck were all over the road so people had to get off cars to help clean off.] [ logically confusing ]

    Finally, (this strategy) [ unclear /specify] can lead to unprecedented aftermaths. Some taxi drivers make a living by carrying passengers to specific destinations, so it is inevitable for them to face traffic jams. This policy may be the straw that broke breaks the camel’s back as the government takes money from their meager wages. Therefore, taxi drivers may organize together to go on strike for justice. As a result, road traffic would be severely dislocated [ wrong word ].

    Due to the reasons mentioned above, I reinforce reiterate my standpoint that it is not wise to fine drivers in heavy traffic in a move/an effort to control traffic.

    DK
    University: The University of Tokyo
    Nationality: japanese
    June 14, 2020 at 1:09 pm

    In contemporary society, traffic congestion has become a severe issue for citizens’ s daily commute. However, at the same time, cars have become inalienable parts of people’s daily life. Recently, there was a policy requiring a fee for driving in busy city streets during heavy traffic. From my personal view, I cling to an unshakable belief that this measure is not an ideal solution.

    To begin with, drivers should not pay the price for traffic jams as they are the victims of heavy traffic themselves. Most drivers have to stand continuous air and noise pollution when they are waiting. Who enjoys driving to work with the constant traffic jams, roadworks, and loud horking from impatient drivers? The answer is no one. Except for physical discomforts, most drivers have to suffer from worrying about the consequences of being late. Asking drivers to pay can only make them feel worse about themselves.

    Furthermore, The traffic jam is a convoluted phenomenon, and the driver is just a small part that contributes to the final aftermath. Other factors, such as unreasonable road planning, terrible weather, and unavoidable traffic accidents, need to be taken into account. For example, it used to take me an hour to get home because of a traffic jam. The number of cars was the same as usual. However,  fruits and vegetables rolled from a truck were all over the road, so people had to get off cars to help clean off, making the following vehicles unable to pass.

    Finally, the strategy asking drivers to pay the bill can lead to unprecedented aftermaths. Some taxi drivers make a living by carrying passengers to specific destinations, so it is inevitable for them to face traffic jams. This policy may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back as the government takes money from their meager wages. Therefore, taxi drivers may organize together to go on strike for justice. As a result, road traffic would be a terrible mess.

    Due to the reasons mentioned above, I reiterate my standpoint that it is not wise to fine drivers in heavy traffic in an effort to control traffic.

    June 16, 2020 at 5:22 pm

    Invalid [Please complete the revision of one essay prior to working on another one.]