Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • 055144a
    University: 江南大学
    Nationality: 中国
    June 15, 2020 at 3:30 am

    Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    In these decades that technologies are developing rapidly, people straightly walks up to hug the newly emerging inventions. Studying and working everyday with a pale smile, we turn to physical fatigue to fill in the vanity of life. But that’s not enough. We need arts.

    To begin with, arts could help one find the meaning of his/her life. The worst thing in our life is that we don’t know what we live for. Artistic works could help us find the answer, by showing us that the heroes and the cowards have how chosen to be heroes and cowards, and what if they chose another value for their existences. A good art can make us realize what we should do, stopping to worry for the trivial things while sparing no effort to chase the things we really care about.

    And then, it’s a responsibility for our governments to make trails for fostering the taxpayers’ artistic tastes. What we remember now about Greece/Rome is not the lands they once conquered, but their brilliant literature, philosophy, math (in some extent pure math is arts too), music etc. It’s arts what after a thousand years still counts for. Civilization is a harsh work. Every country has that ambition should invest more money in the field of arts, though the affect may arise after long.

    In addition, it’s not to say that the governments are incapable of getting short-term feedback from putting efforts into arts. By building a museum/constructing a theatre, the government may make profits from the tickets/gain some from each show etc. Though there may be a lot of other concerns holding governments back from putting more into arts, I consider the cons are far less than the pros.

    Wishing all human can one day knows what he/she lives for, also dreaming of the people in this world could one day really be called civilized, I call for governments to spend more money in support of arts.

    With the accelerating development of our society, the arts and athletics are playing increasingly significant roles in people’s lives. It’s hard to determine which one is more valuable. While some claim that the governments should allocate more funds in support of the arts, many advocate that we should gather more investment for athletics. In my perspective, I agree with the statement that governments should spend more money in support of the arts rather than athletics.

    To begin with, more capital putting into the arts could make it affordable for taxpayers. When there was only a tiny museum in our town, it marketed a ticket for 50 dollars, and admiring the arts was a privilege of decent characters. However, the government decided to construct another three museums last year and reduced each one’s ticket to 5 dollars, then my friends and I could appreciate the artworks as well. Only if the governments put more investment into arts, then they may step closer to the goal of making every soul in this world to experience the arts. However, as for athletics, many activities just need a playground and some simple equipment to carry on, which means the governments don’t have to put in too much money on it.

    And then, governments can be expectant of the fundings for arts to bring in greater economical profits. The money used to build a theatre will then ten times paid back in the form of performances’ earnings. Holding a seminar for artists to share opinions may considerably foster their inspirations and encouraged them to create exquisite works, selling more and handing in more taxes. Yet financing athletics couldn’t make similar scale of values. By giving money to athletics, governments can only expect to get back series of medals.

    Besides, it would be reasonable to assume that the cultural level of citizens keep increasing as the government make more inputs in arts. For instance, as I went to the college, I saw my classmates came from the areas where governments pay much more awareness of arts to be more courteous and well-mannered. As we travelled together, they could retell more anecdotes about the place we went to. Nevertheless, athletics won’t play a part in building people’s manners. It could only influence people’s health and robustness, which has less importance than the culture.

    All in all, though athletics also plays a significant role in our life, it’s in no hesitation will I advise the governments to put in more money in arts, because it could bring more benefits.

    June 16, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Shorten your essay to 300 – 320 words, which is the expected length.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.