Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

  • wxxwh
    University: BNUZ
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 23, 2020 at 6:45 am

    Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

    In contemporary society, there is growing concern about the effects of movies and television. Many people, especially the old, begin to express their concern over the influences by movies and television, which have negatively impact the behaviors of teenager. As a student myself, I tend to believe that they truly bring more adverse effects than benefits.

    It is true that watching TV and movies are convenient ways for people to relax. Honestly, some documentaries and articles show that watching them keep us well informed of the happenings of the world and gaining more knowledge). However, this statement fails to take some more important factors into account.

    Generally, young people are dependent and easily impacted by some negative information from movies and television. As we know, many movies and TV always choose some excitant contents in order to raising the audience rating. And most of these excitant contents are in regard to violence or other things which is harmful for young peoples’ development. As a result, they may imitate what they have seen. To some extent, this situation will influence the crime rate of society in the future.

    The exaggerated life showing on television and film may be considered normal life by young people. It is not a joke. It is what is really happen in our life. The unknown events always misleading people and makes them doing the wrong judgement. For example, my friend built up a concept of love based on TV drama. But when he come to touch with his own love, it is really terrible. His girlfriend and his life were messed up by his .

    As the statement above, it can be concluded that modern young people is sensitive to be impact by movies and television and inclined to imitate some bad behaviors on media.  In another words, young people are also easy to make the wrong judgement and regard life on the TV or films as their own life. It is naturally concluded that the media brought more negative influences to people than positive ones

    September 28, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    In contemporary society, (there is [article error   ]growing concern about the effects of movies and television)[Really? How did you know that?   ]. Many people, especially the old, begin to express their concern[ word form error  ] over the influences[word form error   ] by[ wrong preposition  ] movies and television, which have negatively impact[ grammatical error  ] the behaviors of teenager. As a student myself, I tend to believe that they[ unclear pronoun  ] truly[ redundant adverb  ] bring more adverse effects than benefits.

    It is true that watching TV and movies are convenient ways for people to relax. Honestly, some documentaries and articles show that watching them keep us well informed of the happenings of the world and gaining more knowledge). However, this statement fails to take some more important factors into account.

    Generally, young people are dependent and easily impacted by some negative information from movies and television. As we know, many movies and TV always choose some excitant contents in order to raising the audience rating. And most of these excitant contents are in regard to violence or other things which is harmful for young peoples’ development. As a result, they may imitate what they have seen. To some extent, this situation will influence the crime rate of society in the future.

    The exaggerated life showing on television and film may be considered normal life by young people. It is not a joke. It is what is really happen in our life. The unknown events always misleading people and makes them doing the wrong judgement. For example, my friend built up a concept of love based on TV drama. But when he come to touch with his own love, it is really terrible. His girlfriend and his life were messed up by his .

    As the statement above, it can be concluded that modern young people is sensitive to be impact by movies and television and inclined to imitate some bad behaviors on media.  In another words, young people are also easy to make the wrong judgement and regard life on the TV or films as their own life. It is naturally concluded that the media brought more negative influences to people than positive ones.

    September 28, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    Partial revision (all sentences contain errors)

    September 28, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.