The rules that the society today requires young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The rules that the society today requires young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Jessica Chen
    University: East China University of Political Science and Law
    Nationality: China
    September 23, 2020 at 12:13 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The rules that the society today requires young people to follow and obey are too strict. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    I do believe rules are too strict for young people nowadays which have already caused all kinds of passive effects.

    Above all, schools have made students stubborn given to unnecessary regulations. Teachers not only set rules on classes and exams, but also on daily routines and common behaviors. Take my high school for instance, students have to learn all kinds of regulations which are included in a brochure as soon as they arrive at school. After one week of memorizing, exams have to be taken in order to make sure we have all remembered. Isn’t it ridiculous to test on trivial arrangements, like our bedtime time? What’s more, the standards of exams and evaluations are too mechanic given to the rules. Basic forms must be used when we are writing essays or solving math problems even though the forms do not have any practical meaning. These regulations not only destroy students’ ability to plan their life wisely and independently, but reduce their passion and imagination towards learning, which undeniably gets in the way of the purpose of education.

    Moreover, companies have given too much pressure on their employees due to strict regulations. According to the law, employees normally work eight hours a day and enjoy the rights of taking legislative holidays and ill-rests. However, few of them actually have the opportunities to take a rest, because companies establish all kinds of regulations to limit employees’ leisure time. For example, my sister works in a law firm. It is requested that every employee ought to show up in their working place eight o’clock in the morning and there is a machine used to guarantee their arrival. Given to that rule, even though my sister works late into midnight at the office, she has to go to work on time. Due to these stubborn and inconsiderate rules, my sister often suffers headache and hair loss, which makes me worried.

    October 1, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    2. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    3. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.