Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites.

  • 15858117401
    University: high school
    Nationality: china
    May 20, 2021 at 12:51 pm

    Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites.

    With the development of economy, parents have more and more concerns on education. As the popularization of cell phone and Internet, many children have their own cell phone, and spend more and more time on online games and social networking. Some parents find educating children is more difficult today than it was in the past, and they think spending too much on cell phone, online games, and social networking is the cause. Personally, I think educating children is easier thing today than it was in the past.

    The development of technology gives children more ways to gain knowledge. Internet is an useful tools, which contains enormous information, including some educational material. Many teachers and professors send teaching video on websites, such as youtube, and bilibili. In addition, Educational App, such as Coursera, EDX, and Khan Academy, provide a lot of high-quality online courses. Especially Khan academy, it provides courses for all ages from grade one to grade twelve. In the past, children must go to school to learn knowledge, which is time consuming and cost much money, but now, children can receive high quality education at home.

    Teachers and parents take advantage of cell phone, online games, and social networking website on educating children. For example, parents can use playing online games as bonus of getting nice grade on test. In addition, in the process of playing some online games, students can learn knowledge. Teacher can use these games to make learning more interesting. For example, I used to play Europa Universali, a strategic games that simulate world after Renassan and before the Industrial Revolution, to review world history class. In addition, children can use social networking website to discuss academic problems with other children and teachers, so they can get answer immediately. Unlike in the past, they have to wait until next school day.

    In conclusion, educating children is much easier in today than it was in the past, because of the development of technology. Even things like cell phone, online games, and social networking Website,, also have some positive effect on educating children.

    May 24, 2021 at 11:46 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    May 24, 2021 at 11:46 am

    Please add my WeChat account and remind me of sending you screenshot reviews. Thanks.

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