Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • leofifi
    University: Tsinghua University
    Nationality: China
    December 12, 2020 at 6:25 am

    Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Having a glimpse of the progress in technologies, the application of the mobile phone and other advanced applications are universe in children’s education. However, equipped with such devices, the child and youth use that as an amusement appliance instead of assisting their education. Even worse, it increases the rate of dropping out of school. Hence, in my opinion, it’s their focuses on electronic devices that improve the difficulty of educating children.

    First off, the electronic devices would detract students so that they pay limited attention to study. With the development of technology, a variety of apps installed in your electronic device, smartphone, have increased to a great number in recent years. In common circumstances, for adults, studying with mobile phones, it’s hard not to open the smartphone, scan news and so on, let alone the children. Even when you are doing jobs, with junk information filled in your minds, efficiency decreases a lot. In a way, such kind of electronic devices contribute to educating difficulty.

    And also, such applications would consume lots of time without consciousness. Recent years, the flourishing of emerging industries like short videos has motivated the rapid progress in the original creation which was so fascinating that you are indulged in that easily, forgetting due tasks. Such occasion is so usual that we cannot ignore. Time is limited, if we consume time to entertain ourselves, less time will be left for us to complete our academic tasks.

    In addition, the possibility that the Internet instills wrong values to children make it hard to educate children. The information displayed on the Internet are all-inclusive ranging from working documents like academic thesis to dirty words. It’s hard to assure the information that children get from the Internet is decent. What’s more, their notion about the world is not mature. They are not capable of telling the right from the wrong. They may be taught to escape from school and foster their rebellion. This is also a core reason that education facing children is becoming harsh.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 12, 2020 at 3:58 pm

    Score: 58.5

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    2. Sentence clarity is the main issue in your essay.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.