For future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

  • Vicky349
    University: SWUFE
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 5, 2021 at 2:40 pm

    For future career success, is relating well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

    Recent years witnessed a more fierce competition among teenagers, requiring we students a wider range of individual skills. Not only should we be fully devoted to overwhelming study tasks, but also we are supposed to be involved in good relationship with others. People are split on what is the superior between this two individual skills. From my standpoint, I firmly claim the belief that relating well to others is definitely share the same portions of significance with studying hard at school.

    First and foremost, studying painstakingly at school, as a basic requirement, shapes your abilities as well as behaviors from an individual aspect. It is almost the only way that we students can acquire abundant knowledge and enhance our competences through learning. The history exposed us with astonishingly sufficient examples of learning well and learning life-long will absolutely pave the way to success.

    Next in line, relating well to others serves as an encouraging atmosphere to boom our efficiency from the social aspect. As Aristotle says, “ Better to have a friend than a foe”. We human-beings are social animals living in an interrelated environment, which reveals that social connections are far more than important to us. We can obtain more diverse information, express our emotions and get extra help from our interpersonal relationships.

    Last but not least, paying heed to studying hard and improving interpersonal relationships is reciprocal. On the one hand, studying serves as an effective approach to better improvement, making it much easier to attract the extraordinary persons. And there is no denying that only with the persons sharing the same attitude can we leave disgusting relationship problems behind. On the other hand, being a sociable person can broaden our horizons towards the world and gain some unexpected brand-new experience.

    To sum up, whether studying hard nor involving a good relationship can separately shape we students comprehensively and deeply. Both of them play an significant role in our social life. Critically speaking, the thing really matters is that we should be a master to balance them well.

    April 6, 2021 at 2:57 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.