For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. Sentence clarity, make your thesis clear in your introduction.
2. Preposition Errors
3. Word Choice errors

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 64.6

Honestly, we can not make an absolute conclusion. All things being equal, both relating well to people and studying hard were (verb tense error) essential. Different groups of people have different demands, and different people would make a preference between two choices. (last sentence is vague and does not add information, instead make your argument, example: “Studying hard and learning social skills are both necessary steps to success in your future career.”)

My point of view determines my experience. I am majoring in chemistry at my university, and I think studying hard in school is prior more important than to relating to people in my case for me. For one reason, chemistry requires accumulated knowledge and experience in the lab. The more I learned, the more credits I earned. Moreover, my future career is based on my accumulation of chemical basics (word choice – change “chemical basics”) instead of my relationships. A wide net of relationships makes no sense for me.

However, my situation does not fit anyone everyone. One of my friends is majoring in economics and business. He needs a much different set of skills than me  has a definitely opposite way compared with me. For him, building an extensive relationships among with people will benefit would make a huge benefit for not only his courses but his future career. For example, some of his courses need to need to be completed by a group. In this term Therefore, a wide net of relationships can help find useful messages more efficiently (unclear). Moreover, after graduation, it would will be easier to enter a big company if you have a relationships among with staffs or even the CEO, etc., who is familiar to your background.

After all, we can conclude that which one is more important depends on yourselves In conclusion, whether studying hard or building relationships is more important depends on the situation. Of course, if you were are good at both relating to people and studying hard, your success rate would will skyrocket. However, we emphasize more about the knowledge more nowadays because science is leading humanity to make promising progress. It will would be counterproductive if you only focused on the your ability to relate well to people. On the other hand, we can not just study hard. Only if you relate well to people will you broaden your horizon, which is equally essential.