Government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

  • XXJo
    University: Zhejiang University
    Nationality: China
    February 21, 2021 at 2:56 pm

    Government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    Currently, there is a widespread belief that government should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of atheletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. However, from my perspective, I believe that the atheletics are as important as the arts. Both of them need to be taken care of by the governement.

    In the first place, by spending money in support of the arts, the govenment may develop people’s interests in arts. Sponsoring the museum can help attach more people to have a visit in the museum. Therefore, they may be more likely to learn and admire the arts. For example, the governmemt invited the famous architectural designer Bei Yuming to desigh the Suzhou Musuem. Having an unique outlooking, Suzhou Museum have more visitiors than other musuems in Nanjing Province. Moreover, Shanghai Museum open for free in several holidays by the sponsorship of the government, which makes Shanghai Museum popular among the locals.

    Besides, by supporting atheletics, the government can help build people’s confidence to the country. The more the government invest on the atheletics, the better equipment and service the state-sponsored Olympic teams recieve. Having more advanced equipment and more sophisticated training , the teams is more likely to perform better in the Olympics. When the state-sponsored Olypics win medals in the Olympics, the whole country will enjoy the honor. As a result, being proud of the win, people will admire not only the athelets but also the government. For example, China won 51 medals in 2008 Olympics. During that period of time, the whole country was inspired by the wins. According to the statistics from ZJU, 76.2 percent of the people agreed that they were more satisfied with the government due to the excellent performance of the Chinese state-sponsored Olympic teams in 2008 Olympic.

    In conclusion, it is necessary for the government to spend money in support of the arts as well as in support of atheletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    February 22, 2021 at 1:42 am

    Score: 55.9

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    2. Extensive grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.