Governments should offer a free university education to any student who has been admitted to a university but who cannot afford the tuition.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Governments should offer a free university education to any student who has been admitted to a university but who cannot afford the tuition.

  • Kris Guo
    University: Shanghai Jiao Tong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 4, 2020 at 3:04 pm

    Governments should offer free education for students with financial difficulties to go to university? This is a kind-hearted suggestion, but not always a good idea.

    For students who cannot afford college intuition fee, offering a free opportunity going to university is a great chance for them to learn knowledge, getting a higher degree, and finally achieve success. If no grant is provided, students who have heavy burdens on financial issues will more likely to choose not continuing their study and go to work once they have finished high school. However, students who don’t have a bachelor degree are less likely to find a high rewarding job because their ability are not accepted by employers. Therefore, it forms a vicious cycle for those who born in a poor family.

    Nonetheless, government supporting all intuition fee for college is too costing. The suggestion is implausible. There are so many students struggling in poverty around the world, that if the government pay the tuition fee for each of them, it must be a heavy burden. Supporting too much money on education is like putting too much stock on one side of the boat; the boat will turn over and sink. Besides education, medical care, social security, safety of the country, scientific development, and many other aspects are also very essential for the maintaining a healthy society. Shifting too much budget on education instead will probably cause people spending a lot of money on medicine, increasing of crime, stagnate of science innovation. The expend of paying tuition fee for every poor student is far beyond what the government can afford.

    Paying for the students who cannot afford university tuition also teaches a bad lesson that a human being can achieve without doing effort. The key idea is that as long as they are poor and weak, the country will have the duty to help them. When we educate our own kids, we always teach them to responsible for themselves. That is the same when we are talking about cultivating the young people in this country, who are going to take the responsibility of the future of our country. How can we count on a group of people who keep asking but not giving? There is social intestigation that student who had the support from government in undergraduate stage will continue depend on social welfare to live instead of finding a job. And a great number of students will run up credit card debt after they graduate because they are not willing to work hard and pay by salary. These phenomenon raise questions upon what we are support education for. The essence of education is not just to enrich the knowledge of a person, but to teach them the virtue of human – altruism, responsibility, honest and reliability. But now the suggestion seems to be counterproductive to our original intention.

    Government offering tuition fee for students in poverty have a kind wish, however, the policy will reduce the budget for other important aspect of the society and may develop a bad habit of profiting other’s toil. A more plausible suggestion is that the government can lend the money to students, and let them return it when they step to the society and begin to earn salary. This will give them opportunity to education as well as maintaining their sense of responsibility.

    September 9, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Extensive grammatical errors.
    2. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 110 words.
    3. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Kris Guo
    University: Shanghai Jiao Tong University
    Nationality: Chinese
    September 10, 2020 at 7:15 am

    Governments should offer free education for students with financial difficulties to go to university? That is a kind-hearted suggestion, but not always a good idea.

    For students having difficulty in affording college tuition fees, free opportunities for university help students to have a better future. Without these grants, poor students will be more likely to choose not to continue their studies and go to work once they have finished high school. Chances are that lacking bachelor’s degrees will prevent them from finding a highly rewarding job because they don’t have a formal acknowledgment of their quality. Consequently, they can hardly change their financial status. Therefore, it forms a vicious cycle for those who are born in poverty.

    Nonetheless, to support all college tuition is too expensive. The suggestion is implausible. There are so many students struggling in poverty in a country. If the governments pay the tuition for each of them, there must be a heavy burden.

    A heavy burden on education can influence other infrastructure of the country. Besides education, medical care, social security, scientific development, and many other aspects are essential for maintaining a healthy society; therefore, shifting too much budget on education may well cause a higher financial burden on medicine, higher crime rate, stagnation of science innovation instead. What’s more, for impoverished nations, even urgent problems like food shortages are not settled, let alone the education fees.

    Paying for the students who cannot afford university tuition also indicates that a human being can reap without sowing. Tuition supported, the poor students know that they will be helped by others anyway. There is a social investigation that students with government tuition support in the undergraduate stage usually continue depending on social welfare instead of finding a job. And many students run up credit card debt, believing someone will pay for them.

    These above phenomena raise questions upon what we are supporting education for. The essence of education is not just to enrich the knowledge of a person, but to teach them the virtue of human – altruism, responsibility, honesty, and reliability. But now the suggestion seems to be counterproductive to our original intention.

    Governments offering tuition fees for students in poverty is a warm-hearted suggestion. However, the policy will reduce the budget for other infrastructures and may develop a bad habit of profiting other’s toil. A more plausible suggestion is to lend the money to students, and let them return it when they step to the society. Teaching a lesion for self-responsibility is much better than giving a free ride.

    September 30, 2020 at 7:47 pm

    Governments should offer free education for students with financial difficulties to go to university[ Grammatical error ]? That is a kind-hearted suggestion, but not always a good idea.

    For students having difficulty in affording college tuition fees, free opportunities for university [ matriculation ] help students to have a better future. Without these grants, poor students will be more likely to choose not to continue [ discontinue ]their studies and [instead  ]go to work once they (have finished)[grammatical error  ] high school. Chances are that lacking (bachelor’s degrees)[ a bachelor’s degree ] will prevent them [unclear pronoun – readers can reference the word to CHANCES  ]from finding a highly rewarding job because (they don’t have a formal acknowledgment of their quality)[ unclear ]. Consequently, they[unclear pronoun  ] can hardly change their financial status. Therefore, it[ unclear pronoun ] forms a vicious cycle for those who are born in poverty.

    (Nonetheless, to support all college tuition is too expensive. The suggestion is implausible)[ combine two choppy sentences into one sentence ]. There are so [Given the fact that  ]many students [ are ]struggling in poverty in a country. If [, if  ]the governments pay[ grammatical error-subjunctive ] the tuition for each of them[ unclear pronoun ], there must[ grammatical error ] be a heavy burden.

    A heavy burden on education can( influence other infrastructure of the country)[unclear  ]. Besides education, medical care, social security, scientific development, and many other aspects [/sectors  ]are essential for maintaining a healthy society; therefore, shifting (too much)[ unclear/ too….to ] budget on education may well[ redundant adverb ] cause a higher financial burden on (medicine, higher crime rate, stagnation of science innovation)[ logically incomplete ] instead. What’s more, for impoverished nations, even urgent problems like food shortages are not settled, let alone the education fees.

    Paying for the students who cannot afford university tuition also indicates that a human being can (reap without sowing)[ use explicit language ]. Tuition supported, the poor students know that they will be helped by others anyway. There is a social investigation that students with government tuition support in the undergraduate stage usually continue depending on social welfare[ specify time frame ] instead of finding a job. And[grammatical error with coordinating conjunction  ] many students run up credit card debt, believing someone will pay for them.

    (These above phenomena)[grammatical error  ] raise questions upon what we are supporting education for. The essence of education is not just to enrich the knowledge of a person, but to teach them the virtue of human – altruism, responsibility, honesty, and reliability. But now the suggestion seems to be counterproductive to our original intention.

    [ Lack of a transition word ]Governments offering tuition fees for students in poverty is a warm-hearted suggestion. However, the policy will[absolute statement/use conditional writing  ] reduce the budget for other infrastructures and may develop (a bad habit of profiting other’s toil)[ unclear ]. A more plausible suggestion is to lend the money to students, and let them return it when[ wrong adverb /how could one pay back the load at the very moment of starting a job? ] they step to [ into ]the society. Teaching a lesion for self-responsibility is much better than giving a free ride.

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