Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

  • nly
    University: Nankai University
    Nationality: China
    February 9, 2020 at 3:10 pm

    Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

    Both railways and roads are significant to the establishment of the urban transport system. But today’s population is growing rapidly, and roads may be not well-suited for fast-growing cities. So I maintain that it is better for governments to invest more money to build railways.

    Railways are more suitable for the current fast-paced life. The transporting load of railage in a unit time is the largest and it is also the fastest approach of conveyance on land. Additionally, as a result of the growing population in cities, traffic jams become more and more common in our daily life. Although there are various modes of transportation, they are more or less at the risk of traffic congestions, except for rail traffic. This is because rail transport has its own strong operating system. So it is necessary for the authorities to lay more emphasis on the construction of railways.

    Rail transportation is more environmentally friendly due to its low carbon emissions. Environmental protection is getting more and more attention now,。However, air pollution and other kinds of pollution have become worse as a result of the increasing traffic. Compared to other kinds of transportation, subways, powered by electricity instead of petrol, do not leave particles in the air that are detrimental to the air condition. Therefore, improving the construction of public transportation, such as railways, is meaningful for the long-term development of the city.

    Overall, according to laws of civil development, improving rail networks can bring more convenience than constructing roads.

    February 14, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    Score: 55.2

    Issues:

    1. More than 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    For the sake of time, I am unable to work on two or more essays at the same time for one student. Rewrite and resubmit this essay once you complete the revision of the prior one.

    nly
    University: Nankai University
    Nationality: China
    February 23, 2020 at 5:34 am

    Both railways and roads are significant to the establishment of the urban transport system. But today’s population is growing rapidly, and roads may be not well-suited for fast-growing cities.  I maintain that it is better for governments to invest more money to build railways.

    Railways are more suitable for the current fast-paced life. The transporting load of railage in a unit time is the largest and it is also the fastest approach of conveyance on land. Particularly in metropolitan areas, people do not have to wait for a long time before reaching their destinations. Also, rail transport has its own strong operating system. The railway has special tracks and lines that are not accessible by other means of transport. During the rush hour, transporting by railways decreases the risk of traffic congestions.

    Rail transportation is more environmentally friendly. Powered by electricity instead of petrol, railways put less pressure on the limited natural resources. Utilization of alternative energy like electricity, to some extent, reduces dependence on those non-renewable energy. What’s more, as a form of public transportation, the railway lessens the number of private cars on the road. Vehicles leave a great number of particles in the air that are detrimental to the air condition. Compared to them, according to a study in Japan, railways emit one-tenth as much carbon as cars. Therefore, air pollution and other kinds of pollution will ameliorate as a result of the decreasing traffic flow.

    Overall, improving rail networks is more meaningful for the long-term development of the city than constructing roads.

    February 26, 2020 at 10:19 pm

    Score: 56.1

    Both railways and roads are significant to the establishment of the urban transport system. [ lacking connection from the prior sentence/the subject of a sentence should echo the subject/object of the prior sentence ] But today’s population is growing rapidly, and roads may be not well-suited for fast-growing cities.[, but roads often fail to keep up with/accommodate the growing urban population  ]  I maintain that it is better for governments to invest more money to build railways.

    [lacking transitory word/phrase  ]Railways are more[ lack comparison/use more when you decide to use THAN ] suitable for the current fast-paced life. [lack connection from the prior sentence ]The transporting load of railage in a unit time is the largest[ punctuation error ] and it is also the fastest approach of conveyance on land. Particularly in metropolitan areas, people do not have to wait for a long time before reaching their destinations. [  choppy sentence]Also, rail transport has its own strong operating system. The railway has special tracks and lines that are[ using concrete verb instead of BE verb/remain ] not [ avoid using NOT/inaccessible ]accessible by other means of transport. During the rush hour, transporting by railways decreases the risk of traffic congestions.[word form error  ]

    Rail transportation is more [ lacking comparison ]environmentally friendly. Powered by electricity instead of petrol, railways put less pressure on the[ article error ] limited natural resources. [  article error/the utilization of/or utilizing]Utilization of alternative energy like electricity, to some extent, reduces dependence on those non-renewable energy[ word form error ]. What’s more, as a form of public transportation, the[article error  ] railway lessens the number of private cars on the road. Vehicles leave/discharge a great number of particles in the air that are detrimental to the air condition. Compared to them, according to a study in Japan, railways emit one-tenth as much carbon as cars. Therefore, air pollution and other kinds of pollution will ameliorate as a result of the decreasing traffic flow.

    Overall, improving rail networks is[ use concrete verb ] more [ lack comparison ]meaningful for the long-term development of the city than constructing roads.

    nly
    University: Nankai University
    Nationality: China
    March 28, 2020 at 3:37 pm

    The urban transport system is usually composed of railways and roads. It is thought that constructing railways should be given priority to building roads. I fully agree with this opinion.

    Railways are more suitable for the requirement in transportation in the current fast-paced life. The transporting load of railways in a unit time is larger and it is also a faster approach of conveyance on land. A train can carry about 5,000 passengers at a time, which is a hundred times of that a bus. Particularly in inter-city travelling, people do not have to suffer congestions especially during holiday before reaching their destinations. This is because rail transport has its own strong operating system. The railway has special tracks and lines that are not accessible by other means of transport.

    Besides, rail transportation is more environmentally friendly. Electricity powered by renewable fuels is the energy resource of it. Unlike road transport using petrol, railways put less pressure on the limited natural resources. Utilization of alternative energy like electricity, to some extent, reduces dependence on those non-renewable energy. What’s more, as a form of public transportation, the railway does less harm to the air. Vehicles leave a great number of particles in the air that are detrimental to the air condition. Compared to them, according to a study in Japan, railways emit one-tenth as much carbon as cars. Therefore, investing on railways instead of roads can ameliorate air pollution.

    Overall, improving rail networks is more meaningful for the long-term development of the city than constructing roads.

    March 31, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Score: 55

    Issues:

    1. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.