Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

  • kx2019
    University: SYSU
    Nationality: China
    August 31, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic: Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    Since art has become more and more important in people’s life nowadays, I agree that governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics.

    Financial support in art can help develop the culture of our country. With enough money, museums can be built to introduce some traditions and cultures of our country to foreign visitors. Then people from the world will know about the history of our country. I visited New York last summer and went to nearly every museum in New York. By taking a trip to those museums, I learned that America once belonged to England, and it was American people’s courage and wisdom to help them become independent. It was also their spirit of freedom to help them become a strong country in the world.
    Spending more money on art is also beneficial for the music industry, which is a piece of good news to most people. Since most people use music as a way to relax and attend some music concert to enrich their lives, and with the development of music industry, there will be more and more good and different music to fulfill people’s requirements for music. For example, a TV station hld a TV show called The hip-hop of China last year. Many rap singers attended the show and many audiences included me watched that show. I used to only listen to rap singers from Korea such as The Quitee, but after that show, I started to listen to rap singers from our country such as Kris Wu. This show helped me realized that there are many great rap songs and rap singers in my country. I even went to the concert of the most famous rap singer — Kris Wu.

    Support for athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams can only benefit a small group of people, however, support for art such as music can be good for most people in our country. People in modern time also long for different kinds of art formats and contents. When I was in high school, our headmaster would organize a trip to the local museum every semester and we were tired of always going to the same museum. We wrote a letter to the mayor and asked him if he could build another museum. And the mayor said that the government was planning to enlarge the original museum to include more history of my city and more artworks.

    Art is a very important part of modern people’s life, such as music and culture. People nowadays cannot live without music. Thus I agree that governments should spend more money in support of music.

    September 2, 2019 at 1:57 am

    Score: 70.2

    Please revise your essay to meet the following requirements before I work on your essay. Thank you!

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    • Shorten your essay to 320 words;
    • Restrict each paragraph to 85 words.

     

    weij
    University: HIT
    Nationality: China
    November 3, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    Nowadays, as the society moves on, people’s interests has become more and more abundant. Arts and sports are two major interests among most people, and a huge number of money have being contributed to them by government. Some believe that government should spend more money in support the arts. Others may think that athletics deserves more money input. In my opinion, governments should spend more money in support of athletics as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    First of all, sports can easy tọ be accept and understood by common person: Athletics is often to be talked among common citizens, even they don’t have a professional knowledge to it(A practical survey by Peking University conducted among citizens shows that 58% of people will watch athletic games in their spare time while there are only 21% of them have the experience of watching art programs.)the data is persuasive to prove that athletic programs are more widely accepted by common citizens.)

    Second, spending money in support of athletics may tend to get response of financial movements. As we know, the 2008 Olympic held in Beijing contributes to the construction of the Beijing city. For example, the Nest of Bird is constructed that time, which is the greatest stadium in the whole China. What’s more, a lot of people visit Beijing in the purpose of seeing Olympic dose provide a precious chance to the local economy, and finally made great progress through this process. That case prove that athletics can also bring great economy effects to government.

    But art is still an important methods for citizens. So the government should still put money into art industry. For some people, that is what they are glad to see.

    In conclusion, governments should spend more money in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

    November 4, 2019 at 11:18 pm

    Score: 61

    Nowadays,[redundant  ] as As the society moves on, people’s interests has [  grammatical error] become more and more abundant[wrong word  ]. [lack logical connection from the prior sentence  ]Arts and sports are two major interests among most people, and a huge number[grammatical error  ] of money have being [grammatical error  ]contributed to them [ unclear pronoun ]by[ article error ] government. Some believe that government should spend more money in support [grammatical error  ]the arts. Others may [unparalleled  ]think that athletics deserves more money input. In my opinion, governments should spend more money in support of athletics as state-sponsored Olympic teams.[ unclear ]

    [Sorry, too many errors; I have to stop here and instead use software to illustrate remaining errors. ]

    First of all, sports can easy tọ be accept[grammatical error/passive  ] and understood by common person[ article error ]: Athletics is often to be talked among common citizens, even they don’t have a professional knowledge to it(A practical survey by Peking University conducted among citizens shows that 58% of people will watch athletic games in their spare time while there are only 21% of them have the experience of watching art programs.)the data is persuasive to prove that athletic programs are more widely accepted by common citizens.)

    Second, spending money in support of athletics may tend to get response of financial movements. As we know, the 2008 Olympic held in Beijing contributes to the construction of the Beijing city. For example, the Nest of Bird is constructed that time, which is the greatest stadium in the whole China. What’s more, a lot of people visit Beijing in the purpose of seeing Olympic dose provide a precious chance to the local economy, and finally made great progress through this process. That case prove that athletics can also bring great economy effects to government.

    But art is still an important methods for citizens. So the government should still put money into art industry. For some people, that is what they are glad to see.

    In conclusion, governments should spend more money in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.