Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Ivy May
    University: CUHKSZ
    Nationality: China
    March 10, 2021 at 2:39 am

    Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    I believe that governments should spend more money in support of athletics. Because in my opinion, advocating athletics can not only help to improve people’s health, but also strengthen the connection between people.

    Above all, advocating athletics can call on people to build up their bodies. Today, the living conditions of people have improved a lot. We can choose the food we like, and the lifestyle we enjoy. But here comes a problem. Many people, especially the college students, are getting lazier and lazier. They prefer eating take-out food than cooking by themselves; also, they prefer lying on their dorm bed than heading to the gym. In addition, because of the heavy workload and immense pressure, they may suffer from insomia and other diseases. Today, many students are not getting healthier or stronger. Last autumn my university held a physical test, which included 800-meter run, 50-meter run and sit-ups. During the test, several students fated or felt sick because they were too weak to go through the whole test. To solve the problem, it is neccessary for governments to support more athletics activities. When the wind of doing sports begins to blow among the society, people will be willing to join the trend and build up their bodies.

    Second, athletics may be a good way to improve the relationship between people. Playing sports or watching a game together can quickly heat up the relationship between friends. You will have the topics that you are all interested in to talk about, and you can cheer for or blow off the players with each other. That will be fun. For instance, the three boys, Joey, Chandler and Ross in Friends love to go to the hockey games together. A hockey game can dissipate all the trouble away.

    In conclusion, governments are supposed to support athletics for the sake of people’s heath and the connection of people.

    March 11, 2021 at 2:45 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 110 words. (GRE essay 110-word qualifies for non-software revision; 90- word applies to TOEFL/IELTS essay );
    2. Lots of grammatical errors;
    3. Repetition from the prompt.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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