Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Azzie
    University: N/A
    Nationality: China
    April 6, 2021 at 1:55 pm

    Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    There is no doubt that arts and sports are both very essential in all people’s daily lives. Other than working and studying, people all need some sort of entertainments to relax. Since the arts can engage more people from all ages, I think the governments should spend more money in supporting it.

    Art has been part of the history of human for a thousands of years. Just like music, art can function as a universal language. People from different cultural backgrounds in all ages can produce art works and appreciate the works of others. Hence, art can be a way out for many of us to escape the real word and leave all the stress along for a little while.

    Some people may argue that sports can also be a really good way to reduce pressure, and they can also be played cross culture. But still, sports have lots of limitations that arts don’t. Many people don’t get the point of watching a sport game let alone playing in one of them. Some of them may have physical limitations that don’t allow them to be part of a game. And the reality is, most people who don’t play themselves can hardly get the joy of watching a game.

    As for me, I think that sports shouldn’t be sponsored too much, especially for joining the Olympic teams. Since only an extremely small portion of players can get into the game in the end, and the ones who didn’t get in ended up lacking in skills other than sports. This limited the choices of the players lives. What’s more, arts can be enjoyed both in a quiet environment or in a place where everyone’s excited. Many of the world’s population is introvert, which means that a lot of people won’t like entertainments with a rapid change of emotion such as sports. So it’s better to pay attention to arts more.

    April 7, 2021 at 2:09 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatic, syntactic and logical problems.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.