Some people believe the best way to produce a better society is to ensure there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe the best way to produce a better society is to ensure there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • lichunchuan
    University: Hull
    Nationality: china
    February 15, 2020 at 9:03 am

    Some people believe the best way to produce a better society is to ensure there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and the poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    It is claimed that some people think creating a harmony society by shrinking the salary difference between the wealth and needy people is the best way.To state my opinion,I completely disagree this point of view.

    Admittedly,when the gap between the wealth and the poor is small,people will have less sense of deprivation as comparing their own property and with that of others.Nevertheless,smaller gap can not necessarily bring more happiness to the society.T his is the conflict between the size of economy and the distribution of social wealth,which is quite common in economics.For example,if a country is trapped in poverty and decides not to develop the fear of expanding the income gap.people will enjoy more equality and less wealth and happiness.Besides,the motivation for people to work hard in order to earn more salary and promote social development decreases.

    In addition,narrowing the income gap between the wealth and the poor is almost impossible to bring more happiness.Other ways like improving social facilities,developing a good system on health care,providing more care to citizens may be more efficient to increase people’s sense of happiness.Only be improving the citizens’ well-being can we build a more harmonious society without more diseases.

    In conclusion,narrowing the gap between the wealth and people in need can reduce sense of deprivation,However,this way alone can not build a better society.What we should consider is to improve people’s well-being and physical condition instead of shrinking gaps.

    February 20, 2020 at 8:37 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 50% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    February 20, 2020 at 8:39 pm

    Invalid {I am unable to work on two essays for one student at the same time. Submit a new essay after you complete the revision of the prior essay.}