honesty most important thing to vote

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  • Anonymous
    April 29, 2019 at 1:56 am

    Topic:You are helping to select a leader for a student organization or club. Do you agree or disagree that a person’s honesty is the most important thing to consider in deciding whom to vote for?

    I disagree with this statement because in my opinion, being open to new ideas constitute the most essential for a leader in a student organization. Some people claim that honesty is the most important because the leader can win the coworkers’ trust. However, personally speaking, being open to new ideas serves as the key rather than honesty.

    Firstly, being open to new ideas is beneficial to compensate for the leader’s drawbacks. It is obvious that each individual has his strengths and weaknesses, so a leader needs to keep on learning from others to improve his abilities. Being open to new ideas and willing to accept others’ suggestions exposes a leader to various kinds of opinions, thus enabling him to keep mind updated. What’s more, he can learn some certain filed from others’ ideas, which constitutes a stepping stone to leading a student organization. Here comes a concrete example of Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba. He was used to be an English teacher and was not so sufficient in Web technology. However, he was willing to accept the ideas from his stuff. Finally, he achieved success and became one of the wealthiest people in the world.

    Secondly, being open to new ideas is conducive to expanding our social networks. Compared with those who are stubborn, leaders with an open and flexible mind are more likely to leave a pleasant impression on others and tend to have a harmonious relationship with coworkers. They are more likely to be considered as easy-going. Coworkers are willing to exchange ideas with them. In this circumstance, less conflict will occur and they can achieve a win-win situation during the cooperation when working for the organization. What’s more, they will be provided more opportunities due to the favorable impression they leave on others. For example, they may get more funding to run the organizations and set up more meaningful activities, which are both essential to expend the influence of the organization.

    In conclusion, having an open mind to new ideas is considered to be the most important for a leader in a student organization. It can make up for a leader’s drawbacks and is crucial in dealing with interpersonal relationships. With this, it is more possible for one to become a successful leader.

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    TruckersForMe Participant
    Administrator
    May 1, 2019 at 2:18 am

    Score: 58.4

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten your essay to 320 words;
    2. Reduce the number of passive-voice sentences;
    3. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    4. Many sentences are logically/factually problematic;
    5. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs (i.e. is beneficial – benefits)

    Problems Highlight

    I disagree with this statement because in my opinion, being open to new ideas constitute [Grammatical Error]the most essential for a leader in a student organization. Some people claim that honesty is the most important because the leader can win the coworkers’ trust. However, personally speaking,[Verbose] being open to new ideas serves as the key rather than honesty.

    Firstly, being open to new ideas [Repetition] is beneficial to compensate for the leader’s drawbacks. It is obvious that each individual has his strengths and weaknesses, so a leader needs to keep on learning from others to improve his abilities. Being open to new ideas [Repetition]and willing to accept others’ suggestions exposes a leader to various kinds of opinions, thus enabling him to keep mind updated. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ] What’s more, he can learn some certain filed [?]from others’ ideas, which constitutes [Repetition] a stepping stone to leading a student organization. Here comes a concrete example of Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba. He was used [Passive Voice]to be an English teacher and was not so sufficient in Web technology. However, he was willing to accept the ideas from his stuff. Finally, he achieved success and became one of the wealthiest people in the world.

    Secondly, being open to new ideas is conducive to expanding our social networks. Compared with those who are stubborn, leaders with an open and flexible mind are more likely to leave a pleasant impression on others and tend to have a harmonious relationship with coworkers. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ] They are more likely to be considered [Passive Voice]as easy-going. Coworkers are willing to exchange ideas with them. In this circumstance, less conflict will occur and they can achieve a win-win situation during the cooperation when working for the organization. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ] What’s more, they will be provided [Passive Voice]more opportunities due to the favorable impression they leave on others. For example, they may get more funding to run the organizations and set up more meaningful activities, which are both essential to expend the influence of the organization. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ]

    In conclusion, having an open mind to new ideas is considered [Passive Voice]to be the most important for a leader in a student organization. It can make up for a leader’s drawbacks and is crucial in dealing with interpersonal relationships. With this, it is more possible for one to become a successful leader.