If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Zhangxf
    University: Chongqing University
    Nationality: China
    July 18, 2020 at 11:41 am

    If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, is it better for them to take it right now than wait for a job that would be more satisfying? Ask people on the street, someone might say something like “ Of course not, people should always do what they really like.”However, in my view, taking a secure job right now is a pretty good choice.

    First of all, taking a secure job is better than doing nothing but waiting for. You cannot be sure that you could get the satisfying job in the end.Just like my friend Amy,  one of the top student in our college, when he graduated, he wanted to get a job which is relaxing with high salary. Because of his excellent performance in our college, there are many good companies which offer jobs to him. But Amy did not feel satisfied. He think these jobs were too hard or paid too low. It takes Amy about two years to do noting but waiting for. Finally, Amy found that just people who have work experience are equipped the capability to get his satisfying job. He felt so regret for those secure jobs which he could take two years ago.

    Secondly, many people are capricious. The job which make you feel best today is not likely to make you satisfied tomorrow. In another word, people’s mind are always changing. If you persist to wait for the job you most satisfying, when you really get it, the original choice may not attract you anymore. Take myself as an instance, when I was a child, I dreamed to be a singer all the time. Finally, my parents took me to learn singing skills, which made me so tired that I did not want to become a pop singer anymore.

    In a conclusion, I think taking a secure job right now is better than waiting for a more satisfying job. There are many uncertain factories in our lives. The most important thing is to catch every opportunities in our hands tightly and cherish them.

    July 20, 2020 at 11:03 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Duplicating the prompt (first paragraph). Use your own words to write.
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.
    3. Inconsistency in person ( I, you and he)
    4. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Zhangxf
    University: Chongqing University
    Nationality: China
    July 21, 2020 at 11:04 am

    I will try my best to revise it, QAQ.  Thanks for your patience.

    Zhangxf
    University: Chongqing University
    Nationality: China
    July 21, 2020 at 11:07 am

    Stay safe;stay well
    After graduating, most of us have to face some challenges, such as job-hunting. One scenario is that we could find a secure job much easier than finding a more satisfying job. Whether is better for us to wait for a job that would be more satisfying? In my view, I do not think so.

    First of all, taking a secure job is better than doing nothing but waiting. None of us can be sure that we could get the satisfying job in the end. Just like my friend Amy,  one of the top students in our college. When he graduated, he wanted to get a relaxing job with high salary. Because of his excellent performance in our college, Many good companies were willing to offer jobs to him. However, Amy did not feel satisfied. He thought these jobs were too hard or paid too low. It took Amy about two years to do noting but waiting. Finally, Amy found that just people who have work experience are equipped the capability to get his satisfying job. He felt so regret for those secure jobs which he could take two years ago.

    Secondly, most of us are capricious. The jobs which make us feel satisfied today may not satisfy us tomorrow. In another word, our minds are always changing. If we persist to wait for the job we feel satisfying now, one day, when we really get it, the original choice may not attract us anymore. Take myself as an instance, when I was a child, I dreamed to be a singer all the time. Finally, my parents took me to learn singing skills, which made me so tired that I did not want to become a pop singer anymore.

    In a conclusion, I think taking a secure job right now is better than waiting for a more satisfying job. There are many uncertain factories in our lives. The most important thing is to catch every opportunity in our hands tightly and cherish it.

     

    July 21, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    2. There are still many grammatical errors.
    3. There are lots of repetitions of words/phrases.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.