If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.
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September 13, 2020 at 3:17 am
If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.
Our lifelong well-being is closely associated with the quality of our jobs and most of us put emphasis on our future job prospect. There is a heated discussion on whether people should take the secure job right away or wait for a possibly more satisfying job. From my point of view, the former is better.
We can avoid the opportunity running away if we catch the secure job right away. When there is a fantastic opportunity appearing, the best action is to take advantage of it immediately rather than hesitate and lose the opportunity. Take my cousin, who is major in computer science, as an example. When he was graduated he got an offer that corresponded with his interest and advantages very well in a computer technology company. However, he took into account the salary which was not very high, and decided to wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Once he missed such opportunity, he could never found a suitable job anymore, since those jobs didn’t meet with my cousin’s interest and their salaries were equally low at first.
Some may argue that sometimes waiting for a while can really offers us a more satisfying job and a better opportunity. However, they ignore to take one important fact into account, it is not the privilege of jobs but our passion and capability of jobs that makes a great difference. For example, if my cousin had chosen the job he truly loved at first, he would have been motivated to work hard and pursued his achievement constantly. Then due to his hard work and talent in computer, he would have gotten promotion and acquired higher salaries. An opportunity which seems not good enough can be turned into a wonderful opportunity if we catch it at the appropriate time and devote ourselves in it.
Taking into consideration all of the factors discussed above, a conclusion can be easily drawn that it is a better choice to catch a secure job opportunity right away than to wait for a possibly more satisfying job.
September 16, 2020 at 9:27 pmOur lifelong well-being is closely associated with the quality of our jobs and most of us put emphasis on our future job prospect. There is a heated discussion on whether people should take the secure job right away or wait for a possibly more satisfying job. From my point of view, the former is better.[ Use your own words to write ]
We can avoid the opportunity running away if we catch the secure job right away. When there is a fantastic opportunity appearing, the best action is to take advantage of it immediately rather than hesitate and lose the opportunity. Take my cousin, who is major in computer science, as an example. When he was graduated he got an offer that corresponded with his interest and advantages very well in a computer technology company. However, he took into account the salary which was not very high, and decided to wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Once he missed such opportunity, he could never found a suitable job anymore, since those jobs didn’t meet with my cousin’s interest and their salaries were equally low at first.
Some may argue that sometimes waiting for a while can really offers us a more satisfying job and a better opportunity. However, they ignore to take one important fact into account, it is not the privilege of jobs but our passion and capability of jobs that makes a great difference. For example, if my cousin had chosen the job he truly loved at first, he would have been motivated to work hard and pursued his achievement constantly. Then due to his hard work and talent in computer, he would have gotten promotion and acquired higher salaries. An opportunity which seems not good enough can be turned into a wonderful opportunity if we catch it at the appropriate time and devote ourselves in it.
Taking into consideration all of the factors discussed above, a conclusion can be easily drawn that it is a better choice to catch a secure job opportunity right away than to wait for a possibly more satisfying job.
September 16, 2020 at 9:30 pmScore: 57.2
Issues:
- There are lots of grammatical errors.
- About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 35% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
September 17, 2020 at 11:49 amOur lifelong well-being is closely associated with the quality of our jobs. Most of us give the high prioriy to our future job prospects. There is a heated discussion on whether people should catch a secure job immediately or wait for a possibly better job. From my point of view, the former is better.
We can avoid the loss of opportunities if we catch a secure job right away. When there is a fantastic opportunity appearing, the best action is to immediately take advantage of it rather than hesitate and lose the opportunity. Take my cousin, who is major in computer science, as an example. When he graduated, he got an offer that corresponded with his interest and advantages very well in a computer technology company. However, he took into account the low salary, deciding to wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Once he missed such an opportunity, he could never found a suitable job anymore. Since those jobs didn’t meet with my cousin’s interest and their salaries were equally low at the beginning.
Some may argue that sometimes waiting for a while can truly offer us a more satisfying job and a better opportunity. However, they ignore to take one important fact into account. It is not the privilege of jobs but our passion and capability of jobs that make a great difference. For example, if my cousin had chosen the job he truly loved at first, he would have been motivated to work hard and pursued his achievement continuously. Then due to his hard work and talent in IT, he would have gotten promotions and acquired higher salaries. An opportunity which seems not good enough can be turned into a wonderful opportunity if we catch it at the appropriate time and devote ourselves to it.
Taking into consideration all factors discussed above, a conclusion can be easily drawn that it is a better choice to catch a secure job opportunity right away than to wait for a possibly more satisfying job.
September 17, 2020 at 9:22 pmScore: 60.4
Issues:
- About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
- “There is a heated discussion on whether people should catch a secure job immediately or wait for a possibly better job. From my point of view, the former is better.” – rewrite use your own words;
- Learn how to use subjunctive voice correctly.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
