Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience

  • bitph
    University: Beijing Institute of Technology
    Nationality: China
    August 8, 2020 at 9:33 am

    Claim: Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience.

    Reason: People who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible without the constraints of established habits and attitudes.

    It is claimed that imagination outweighs experience , for the sake that people are free to imagine what is possible without being brindled by the establishments. As for me, mostly I disagree with the claim and the reason, while there does exist conditions in which the claim would be objective.

    Admittedly, when it comes to the field of art and design, those who established a certain genre of art are those who are full of imagination. If they succumb to the experience they learnt from others or themselves, chances are that they will get stuck by the so-called giants. That`s to say, they cannot fully realize their creativity. Take Picasso as an example. When he was young, he tried to mimic the giants of his time, and enjoyed a big success, whereas the process did not satisfy him. When he grew older, he created Cubism out of his imagination rather than experience. Hence, in this way, both the claim and the reason are valid.

    However, our lives are more than art and design. When we take a look at the realm of science and technology, we have to confess that although imagination is a must if we want to do even the simplest improvements, experience is the prerequisite. Without experience, we could hardly work miracles, because we cannot understand what our ancestors did and what lessons they gained. If we only to bury ourselves in our imagination when we make attempts to construct a new theory system or make a breakthrough of technology, it is probable that our imagination were proved wrong by our ancestors by the cost of their lives. What`s more, before we want to realize or validate our imagination, we have to gain experience so that we could get to know where to start. From this perspective, the claim does not hold water.

    To put all into a nutshell, the pros and cons of both the claim and reason are partly known, we cannot say that claim or reason are totally right or wrong. More information about which the claim are applied to should be accumulated before we can warrant any further action.

    August 15, 2020 at 11:29 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Article errors
    4. Verb form errors
    5. Preposition errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    bitph
    University: Beijing Institute of Technology
    Nationality: China
    August 16, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    Thanks again for your help! I have made corrections already,see below:

    It is claimed that imagination outweighs experience, for the sake that people are free to imagine what is possible without being brindled by the establishments. To me, mostly,I disagree with the claim and the reason,while there does exist conditions in which the claim would be objective.

    Admittedly,when it comes to the field of art and design, those who established an outstanding genre of art are those who are full of imagination. If they succumb to the experience they learned from others or themselves,they will get stuck by the so-called giants. That`s to say, they cannot fully realize their creativity. Take Picasso as an example. When he was young, he tried to mimic the giants of his time,and enjoyed a big success,whereas the process did not satisfy him. When he grew older,he created Cubism out of his imagination rather than experience. Hence,in this way,both the claim and the reason are valid.

    However,our lives are more than art and design. When we take a look at the realm of science and technology,we have to confess that although imagination is a must if we want to make even the smallest improvements,experience is the prerequisite. Without experience,we could hardly work miracles,because we cannot understand what our ancestors did and what lessons they gained. If we only to bury ourselves in our imagination when we make attempts to construct a new theory system or make a breakthrough of technology,it is probable that our ancestors have risked their lives to prove that such imagination is wrong.What`s more,before we want to realize or validate our imagination,we have to gain experience so that we could get to know where to start. From this perspective, the claim does not hold water.

    To put all into a nutshell,the pros and cons of both the claim and reason are partly known,we cannot say that claim or reason are totally right or wrong. More information should be accumulated before we can warrant any further action.

    bitph
    University: Beijing Institute of Technology
    Nationality: China
    August 16, 2020 at 2:59 pm

    The use of comma was wrong in the last reply, so I corrected my article again. Please check the following content below:
    <div class=”fp-reply__content”>
    <div class=”fp-reply__thecontent”>

    It is claimed that imagination outweighs experience, for the sake that people are free to imagine what is possible without being brindled by the establishments. To me, mostly, I disagree with the claim and the reason, while there does exist conditions in which the claim would be objective.

    Admittedly, when it comes to the field of art and design, those who established an outstanding genre of art are those who are full of imagination. If they succumb to the experience they learned from others or themselves, they will get stuck by the so-called giants. That`s to say, they cannot fully realize their creativity. Take Picasso as an example. When he was young, he tried to mimic the giants of his time, and enjoyed a big success,whereas the process did not satisfy him. When he grew older, he created Cubism out of his imagination rather than experience. Hence,in this way,both the claim and the reason are valid.

    However,our lives are more than art and design. When we take a look at the realm of science and technology, we have to confess that although imagination is a must if we want to make even the smallest improvements, experience is the prerequisite. Without experience, we could hardly work miracles, because we cannot understand what our ancestors did and what lessons they gained. If we only to bury ourselves in our imagination when we make attempts to construct a new theory system or make a breakthrough of technology, it is probable that our ancestors have risked their lives to prove that such imagination is wrong. What`s more,before we want to realize or validate our imagination, we have to gain experience so that we could get to know where to start. From this perspective, the claim does not hold water.

    To put all into a nutshell, the pros and cons of both the claim and reason are partly known, we cannot say that claim or reason are totally right or wrong. More information should be accumulated before we can warrant any further action.

    </div>
    </div>

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