TPO 36: For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children(five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Topics TPO 36: For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children(five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

  • LINDA
    University: 上海外国语大学
    Nationality: China
    February 14, 2020 at 5:41 am

    TPO 36: For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children(five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities.

    As Kindergartens gradually developed from an Institution simply taking care of the Children into an educational spot, discussion has been aroused whether Governments should invest more in Kids or University participants. Personally, I believe that the officials should spend Money on adults instead of the Young.

    First of all, Young children do not have the ability to learn as fast as high School graduates. During the age of 5 to 10, the brain of a typical child is not fully developed. What now Kids are supposed to learn is the capability to eat, brush their teeth, and other Basics. These help them to build cognition of the world and qualities such as respect and concentration. Learning to read or write is the next step which teaches them about hard working and so on. University students, however, have already gained the Basic abilities and what they require is the improvement in academics and skills in certain fields. In the age during 18 to 22, they can learn more and more quickly. If the Government invests more in universities, they would be able to acquire more that they want and achieve accomplishments in a shorter period of time.

    Secondly, a larger number US citizens are in the Need of college education. As years go by, employers and students have learned that a University Degree is beneficial when seeking a Job. Consequently, an increasing number of students are calling for University education. While the tuition fee is also rising, Government should provide more opportunities for the poor and the middle class to receive higher education. In that way, the Country can also Benefit from the Investment, since more Talents were created. The early education, however, doesn’t have an extraordinary Impact on one’s Overall development.

    All in all, I affirm that Governments should spend fees on Universities, since students in that Level learn faster and investing in it brings the Country a better prospect.

    February 17, 2020 at 9:23 pm

    Score: 58.2

    Issues:

    1. Nearly 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Nearly 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.