In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on the society?
-
February 1, 2020 at 5:07 pm
In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on the society?
Because of the development of technology and the advancement of society, the total amount of aging population see a steady increase today. While the tendency might bring some benefits to the society,I believe that there are more drawbacks that are due to the increased proportion.
One significant negative effect is the higher cost of healthcare,which puts pressure on the public . This means that the government has to pour more money in caring for the elderly who are more likely to get sick with age. At the same time，people will be required to pay more tax and the investment on other public services such as education will decline correspondingly.
The decrease of the efficiency of the whole society is another downside,as the number of aged workers increases. There is no doubt that people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks normally decline with age. Elderly people also have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices . Obviously,their presence imposes restrictions on productivity of companies.
On the other hand,the rich experience and knowledge of old people may contribute to the development of the whole society. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to gain the experience and knowledge. The elderly are able to play a role of a teacher,as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example,some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with clients and how to design complete commercial plans.
In conclusion, although the experience and knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, the growth of number of old people increases the financial pressure of government and has an adverse impact on work efficiency and productivity of the whole society.
February 4, 2020 at 3:10 amScore: 51.6
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
February 5, 2020 at 1:16 pmBecause of the development of technology and the advancement of society, the total amount of aging population sees a steady increase today. While the tendency might bring some benefits, I believe that there are more problems that are due to the increased proportion.
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money into caring for the elderly . At the same time,people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services such as education will decline correspondingly.
The decrease in the efficiency of the whole society is another downside, as the number of aged workers increases. There is no doubt that people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks normally decline with age. Old people also have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices. Obviously, their presence imposes restrictions on the productivity of companies.
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of old people may contribute to the development of the whole society. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to gain experience and knowledge. The elderly are able to play a role of a teacher, as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, the growth of the number of old people increases the financial pressure of the government, and has an adverse impact on work efficiency and productivity of the whole society.
February 5, 2020 at 11:01 pmScore: 56.2
Issues:
- More than 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
February 6, 2020 at 2:25 pmBecause of the development of technology , the total amount of aging population sees a steady increase today. While the tendency might bring some benefits, I believe that there are more disadvantages in terms of increased proportion.
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money into caring for the elderly. At the same time, people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services will decline .
The decrease in the efficiency of the whole society is another downside, as the number of aged workers increases. There is no doubt that people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks always decline with age. The aged also have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices. Their presence imposes restrictions on the productivity of companies.
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of the aged may contribute to the development of the whole society. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to gain experience and skills. The elderly are able to play a role of a teacher, as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, the growth of the number of senior citizens increases the financial pressure of the government.Meanwhile,it has an adverse impact on work efficiency and productivity of the whole society.
February 12, 2020 at 1:05 pmIn many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on the society?
Because of the development of technology , the total amount of aging population sees a steady increase today. While the tendency might bring some benefits, I believe that there are more disadvantages in terms of increased proportion.
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money into caring for the elderly. At the same time, people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services will decline .
The decrease in the efficiency of the whole society is another downside, as the number of aged workers increases. There is no doubt that people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks always decline with age. The aged also have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices. Their presence imposes restrictions on the productivity of companies.
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of the aged may contribute to the development of the whole society. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to gain experience and skills. The elderly are able to play a role of a teacher, as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, the growth of the number of senior citizens increases the financial pressure of the government.Meanwhile,it has an adverse impact on work efficiency and productivity of the whole society.
February 13, 2020 at 11:19 pmScore: 58.6
Issues:
- Grammatical errors;
- Spacing problems.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
February 27, 2020 at 3:21 amIn many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on the society?
Because of the development of technology, the total amount of aging population sees a steady increase today. While the tendency might bring some benefits, I believe that there are more disadvantages in terms of increased proportion.
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money into caring for the elderly. At the same time, people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services will decline.
The decrease in the efficiency of the whole society is another downside, as the number of aged workers increases. There is no doubt that people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks always declines with age. The aged also have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices. Their presence imposes restrictions on the productivity of companies.
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of the aged may contribute to the development of the whole society. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to gain experience and skills. The elderly can play the role of teachers, as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, the growth of the number of senior citizens increases the financial pressure of the government.Meanwhile, it affects working efficiency and productivity of the whole society.
March 4, 2020 at 7:11 pmScore: 58.7
Because of the development of technology, the total amount of aging population sees a steady increase today [logically confusing. Rephrase. ]. While the/this tendency might bring some benefits [ to whom?], I believe that there are more disadvantages in terms of increased proportion.
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money into [ article error]caring for the elderly. At the same time, people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services will decline.
The decrease in (the efficiency of the whole society) [ wordy] is another downside, [ punctuation error]as the number of aged workers increases. There is no doubt that people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks always declines with age [absolute statement ]. The aged also have [ vague verb] a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices [ absolute statement]. Their [unclear pronoun ] presence imposes restrictions on the productivity of companies. [ Many of your sentences are very wordy. Use simple words if you can. i.e. Their presence impedes/restricts corporate productivity.]
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of the aged may contribute to the development of the whole society [ specify]. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to gain experience and skills [ strange writing]. The elderly can play the role of [wordy ]teachers, as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, the growth of the number of senior citizens increases the financial pressure of the government [wordy ]. Meanwhile, it [unclear pronoun ] affects [ article error]working efficiency and productivity of the whole society [repetition ].
March 6, 2020 at 4:30 amIn many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on the society?
Because of the development of medical technology, people’s life expectancy sees a steady increase today. While this tendency might bring some benefits to the society, I believe that there are more disadvantages in terms of increased proportion.
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money in caring for the elderly. At the same time, people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services will decline.
The decrease in the efficiency is another downside as the number of aged workers increases. Normally people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks always declines with age. The aged also hold a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices. The presence of the elderly people impedes corporate productivity.
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of the aged may contribute to the training of talents. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to master knowledge and skills. The elderly can play teachers, as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, a number of senior citizens increase the financial pressure of the government.Meanwhile, it affects working efficiency and productivity of the society.
March 9, 2020 at 10:33 pmScore: 56.8
Final Revision
In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on the society?
Because of the development of medical technology, people’s life expectancy sees a steady increase today. While this tendency might bring some benefits to the society, I believe that there are more disadvantages in terms of increased proportion [ unclear].
One significant adverse impact is the higher cost of healthcare, which puts pressure on the public. It means that the government has to pour more money in/into [ article error ]caring for the elderly. At the same time, people will have to pay more tax, and the investment in other public services will decline.
The decrease in the efficiency [unclear/what efficiency? ] is another downside as the number of aged workers increases. Normally people’s ability to absorb information and complete tasks always declines with age. The aged also hold a conservative attitude towards technology [absolute statement ]and struggle to learn how to use high-technology devices. [ lack transitory word ]The presence of the elderly people impedes corporate productivity.
On the other hand, the rich experience and knowledge of the aged may contribute to the training of talents. Without learning and practicing for a long time，we are unlikely to master knowledge and skills. The elderly can play teachers [ unclear ], as they can impart their practical knowledge and skills to the young generation. For example, some old managers can teach young people how to keep a good relationship with their clients and colleagues.
In conclusion, although the knowledge of aged people is a precious asset to the human being, a number of senior citizens increase the financial pressure of the government. Meanwhile, it [ unclear pronoun ] affects [article error ]working efficiency and productivity of the society.
