In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

  • Morning
    University: Beijing language and culture university
    Nationality: CHINESE
    May 16, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

    Medical improvement and increased living standard contribute to the fact that the amount of the aging population is increasing which many countries see at an unprecedented pace. Although elderly people could make contribution to the society, its negative impacts on society outweigh positive one.

    One problem the aging population would bring about is that medical cost would dramatically increase. It would impose a heavier burden on taxpayers. Elder people would be infested with some illnesses associated with their age. Therefore, national government should fund more in medical facilities to offer better medical services. At the meanwhile relevant authorities have to cut the budget for other public facilities, like education. At a result, citizens’ qualities of lives would be affected as well as the general social economic.

    Besides that, the greater amount of elder people would adverse impact on productivity and efficiency. Due to such a demographic change, related administer would adopt a strategy to improve pension eligibility age so that those elder workers have to stay in workplace at their age what they should have retired. However, they are confronted with cognitive decline and found it hard to handle works and processes the information effectively. So their poor performance at work would result in lower productivity and efficiency of businesses and companies. Finally it may pose a negative influence on economics.

    On the other hand, our social and economical development could tap into their rich experience and wisdom. The elders have obtained abundant knowledge and expertise in the field of their works which could pass on the younger generation. Senior business managers could teach the youth how to manage a company and some tactics used in the market while elderly and experienced researcher are able to instruct younger researchers how to formulate and conduct survey efficiently.

    In conclusion, the aging population may bring about some problems like unhealthy social economic as well as low productivity and efficiency although the elderly’s wit and rich working experience could contribute to the development of society.

    May 19, 2020 at 1:52 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.