In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

  • GuoZyang
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 20, 2020 at 7:49 am

    In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

    It is noticeable that the number of elderly people in many countries is gradually growing. They could contribute to the society, but in my opinion, the demographic change can bring about some problems.

    One of the problems caused by aging is that health care costs and tax will increase. It is widely known that most diseases and health problems occur in the old age. And the increase of the aging population means that more medical facilities are needed to ensure their health, so the government needs to invest more money in it. As a result, related taxes will rise and the burden on taxpayers will also increase.

    The shortage of labour is another problem. Normally, people’s ability to learn new things will decline with aging. However, in the situation of rapid updating technology, the learning time will be longer if there are plenty of senior workers in the company. That is why most high-tech companies want younger employees. In Silicon Valley, for instance, the average age of workers is approximately thirty years old.

    To some extent, the elderly could help the young to develop themselves. The senior citizens have accumulated rich experience and mastered professional knowledge in the long-term work. They could impart their skills to the young generation as consultants. In this way, young people may avoid mistakes, develop faster and bring benefits to all aspects of society.

    In conclusion, the aging society has put a strain on health care and made the workforce less productive. It has a great negative impact on society, although the senior citizens could still contribute to the society in some ways.

    February 20, 2020 at 4:21 pm

    Score: 63.5

    Issues:

    1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    GuoZyang
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 21, 2020 at 5:41 am

    It is noticeable that the number of senior citizens in many countries is gradually growing. They could contribute to society, but in my opinion, the demographic change can bring about some problems.

    One of the problems caused by aging is that health care costs and tax will increase. It is widely known that most diseases and health problems occur in old age. The increasing number of older populations need more medical facilities to ensure their health, so the government has to invest more money in it. As a result, related taxes will rise, and the burden on taxpayers will also increase.

    The shortage of labor is another problem, which has negative impact on the economy. Generally, people’s ability to learn new things will decline with aging. Nevertheless, if there are plenty of senior workers in the company, the learning time will be longer because of rapid updating technology. That is why most high-tech companies want younger employees. In Silicon Valley, for instance, the average age of workers is approximately thirty years old.

    To some extent, the old could help the young to develop themselves. The senior workers have accumulated rich experience and professional knowledge in long-term work. They could impart their skills to the young generation as consultants. In this way, young people may avoid mistakes, develop faster and bring benefits to all aspects of society.

    In conclusion, the aging society has put a strain on health care and made the workforce less productive. It has a considerable negative impact on society, although senior citizens could still contribute to society in some ways.

    GuoZyang
    University: Communication University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 22, 2020 at 1:14 pm

    It is noticeable that the number of senior citizens in many countries is gradually growing. The older people could contribute to society, but the demographic change can bring about some problems.

    The increasing of aging population causes heavy budget burden on government. It is widely known that most diseases and health problems occur in old age. As senior citizens growing, it is extremely necessary for governments to expand the existing medical system in order to meet the increasing medical demand. Moreover, pensions that aging people live on may also become a dramatic expenditure for government. Thus there may be an intractable financial problem for the government in an aging society.

    The shortage of labor is another problem. Generally, the old are not as good at learning as the young. That is why most high-tech companies want younger employees. However, If the proportion of the senior workers keeps rising, there will be relatively fewer young workers. it might lead to a decrease in work efficiency, which will affect economic development.

    To some extent, the old could help the young to develop faster. The senior workers have accumulated rich experience and professional knowledge in long-term work. They could impart their skills to the young generation as consultants. In this way, young people may avoid mistakes, develop faster and bring benefits to all aspects of society.

    In conclusion, the aging society would slow down the economy and put great pressure on the government. It has a considerable negative impact on society, although senior citizens could still contribute to society in some ways. So in my opinion, the aging problem had better be solved as soon as possible.

    February 22, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    Score: 55.3

    Issues:

    1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.