In order for any work of art-for example, a film. a novel, a poem, or a song, -to have merit, it must be understandable to most people.

TOEFL, IELTS, Application Essay Proofreading Services. GRE Writing Topics In order for any work of art-for example, a film. a novel, a poem, or a song, -to have merit, it must be understandable to most people.

  • Jane
    University: Nanjing Audit University
    Nationality: China
    June 21, 2019 at 1:01 pm

    The art tells of an old story, which is understandable to modern people.

    Topic: In order for any work of art-for example, a film. a novel, a poem, or a song, -to have merit, it must be understandable to most people.

    Even though there are many elusive pieces of art around the world,  people are still impressed by their appealing artistic forms and contents.  Also,  it is hard to require all the artists to make their artwork understandable to everyone. Thus,  instead of catering to the appetite of the market,   artwork should reflect the artists’ expression and mental world.

    Artistic creation manifests complex sentiments of the artists, which contributes to the uniqueness and integrity of artwork. The creators use variable forms of art to represent their own style. Nevertheless,  people may consider such creation as deviation from the mainstream and react violently. However,  if all the artists sacrificed their own style and feared to evolve, then classicism, romanticism would vanish in the history.  Unlike street songs,  quite a few operas and dramas stand out due to strong aesthetic style. The actors with discretion can interpret the characters with different expressing ways,  which can better shape the images in the play.

    Nowadays,  a new commercial model shows up in the film industry,  which only targets at the profit regardless of the value of movies. Admittedly,  such movies indeed attract a large amount of people. They are willing to pay for the visual enjoyment and vivid images presented by advanced cinematic techniques. However, this model encourages the film producers to abandon artistic films but lavish money in movies with high returns. With the evanescent value of these works, commercial movies may hardly gain popularity in the long term.

    Real artists will not be measured by the profit gained by their masterpieces.  For instance,  the value of Van Gogh’s works was hardly recognized during his lifetime. The paintings embodying his unique inner world were perplexing to the public.  Even though he remained poor in his whole life, the intrinsic value of his artwork was achieved in the end. People are astonished by his painting techniques and the color utilization.  The painting,  Sunflower,  vividly shows the passion and ambition towards life . It may be difficult for people who didn’t share the same life stories with the painters to appreciate their art work at first. However,  the merit of the artwork will not be impeded by common appreciation.

    To sum up, merely pandering to the public at the expense of art’s value is not reasonable. The requirement to appreciate some artwork is quite demanding, .Thus, people can improve their own aesthetic ability to better feel the beauty inside the artwork.

     
    Lin Qiu
    June 23, 2019 at 3:47 am

    Score: 58.1

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    2. Shorten your essay.

    Problems Highlight

    Even though there are many elusive pieces of art around the world,  people are still impressed by their appealing artistic forms and contents[Verbose] Also,  it is hard to require all the artists to make their artwork understandable to everyone. Thus,  instead of catering to the appetite of the market,   artwork should reflect the artists’ expression and mental world.
     
    Artistic creation manifests complex sentiments of the artists, which contributes to the uniqueness and integrity of [article error]artwork. [Verbose]The creators use variable [wrong word]forms of art to represent their own style. Nevertheless,  people may consider such creation as [article error]deviation from the mainstream and react violently.[Verbose] However,  if all the artists sacrificed their own style and feared to evolve, then classicism, romanticism would vanish in [article error]the history [Verbose]Unlike street songs,  quite a few operas and dramas stand out due to strong aesthetic style. The actors with discretion can interpret the characters with different expressing ways,  which can better shape the images in the play.[Verbose]
     
    Nowadays,  a new commercial model shows up in the film industry,  which only targets at[wrong word] the profit regardless of the value of movies. Admittedly,  such movies indeed attract a large amount[wrong word] of people. They are willing to pay for the visual enjoyment and vivid images presented by advanced cinematic techniques. However, this model encourages the film producers to abandon artistic films but lavish money in movies with high returns. With the evanescent value of these works, commercial movies may hardly gain popularity in the long term.
     
    Real artists will not be measured by [Passive]the profit gained by their masterpieces.  For instance,  the value of Van Gogh’s works was hardly recognized during his lifetime. The paintings embodying his unique inner world were perplexing to the public.  Even though he remained poor in his whole life, the intrinsic value of his artwork was achieved[Passive] in the end. People are astonished by [Passive] his painting techniques and the color utilization.  The painting,  Sunflower,  vividly shows the passion and ambition towards life . [spacing error]It may be difficult for people who didn’t share the same life stories with the painters to appreciate their art work[wrong word] at first. However,  the merit of the artwork will not be impeded by [Passive]common appreciation.
     
    To sum up, merely pandering to the public at the expense of art’s value is not reasonable. The requirement to appreciate some artwork is quite demanding, .[punctuation error]Thus, people can improve their own aesthetic ability to better feel the beauty inside the artwork.[Verbose]
    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones; please revise and resubmit your essay.
     
    Jane
    University: Nanjing Audit University
    Nationality: China
    June 29, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    It is hard to require all the artists to make their artwork understandable to everyone. Thus,  instead of catering to the appetite of the market,   artwork should reflect the artists’ expression and mental world.

    Nowadays,  a new commercial model shows up in the film industry,  which only cares about the profit regardless of the value of movies. Admittedly,  such movies indeed attract a large number of people. They are willing to pay for the visual enjoyment and vivid images presented by advanced cinematic techniques. However, this model encourages the film producers to abandon artistic films but lavish money in movies with high returns. With the evanescent value of these works, commercial movies may hardly gain popularity in the long term.

    The possession of merit of the artwork does not necessarily require artwork to be popular.  For instance,  the value of Van Gogh’s works was hardly recognized during his lifetime. The paintings embodying his unique inner world were perplexing to the public. It may be difficult for people who didn’t share the same life stories with the painters to appreciate their works at first. In the later generation,  people can sympathize with the painter and acclaim his painting techniques and the color utilization.  The painting,  Sunflower,  vividly shows the passion and ambition towards life.

    To sum up, merely pandering to the public at the expense of art’s value is not reasonable. The requirement to appreciate some artwork is quite demanding. To gain a better understanding,  people should foster our aesthetic appreciation.

     
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    Lin Qiu
    July 2, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Score: 54.8

    Will come back to you shortly.

     
    Lin Qiu
    July 3, 2019 at 1:22 am

    Final Revision

    It is hard to require all the artists to make their artwork understandable to everyone. Thus,  instead of catering to the appetite of the market,   artwork should reflect the artists’ expression and mental world.

    Nowadays,  a new commercial model has shown shows up in the film industry,  which only cares about the profit regardless of the value of movies. Admittedly,  such movies indeed attract a large number of people. They are willing to pay for the visual enjoyment and vivid images presented by advanced cinematic techniques. However, this model encourages the film producers to abandon artistic films but lavish/while lavishing money in on movies with high returns. With/Considering the evanescent value of these works, commercial movies will may hardly gain in popularity in the long term.

    The possession of merit of the artwork does not necessarily require artwork to be popular.  For instance,  the value of Van Gogh’s works was hardly recognized during his lifetime. The paintings embodying his unique inner world were perplexing to the public. It may be difficult for people who didn’t share the same life stories with the painters to appreciate their works at first. In a/some/the later generation,  people can sympathize with the painter and acclaim his painting techniques and the color utilization.  The painting,  Sunflower,  vividly shows the artist’s passion and ambition towards life.

    To sum up, merely pandering to the public at the expense of art’s monetary value is not reasonable. The requirement to appreciate some artwork is quite demanding[This sentence needs to be stated diffrently…]. To gain a better understanding,  people should foster their our / we should foster our aesthetic appreciation.

     
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 6 days ago by Lin Qiu Lin Qiu.
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