In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Topics In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • chloewong66
    University: Civil Aviation University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 12, 2020 at 2:57 am

    In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Money management  at young age is necessary and beneficial for becoming financially responsible adults. Some conventional parents prefer to allocated the money under their schedules for fear that the kids wasting money. However, this worry is overwhelmed. If kids do not know how to manage their deposition at young age, they will probably be more confused when grow up. Specific benefits of independent management are below.

    First of all, this ability helps kids spend economically since young age, thus when they earn their own money, they won’t worry about irrational behaviors. When people shopping by windows or online, items on list sometimes will be valued more than the money in your wallets. To fix this situation, a people who managed their own money at young age will have more odds searching for an alternative; while those who did not will keep on working and save money for the item, or even apply for the loan. In the other words, children can easily be cultivated to make rational choices. Finally, they know what they really want so well that they will behave responsibly in purchasing, instead of buying something out of rage or pulse.

    Secondly, children can learn to pay efforts before gain something. When I was young, I was paid by two coins once doing the dishes after lunch. It is not delighted to do that but I need the money for a popular comic book. After this policy in my family, on one hand, I earned honored coins for my effort. On the other hand, I start to believe that you must pay some efforts to exchange for what you want .

    All light of above, although the money were initially earned by parents, children should be taught to manage on their own. It is a golden period when they begin to being responsible for themselves, both financially and morally.

    February 13, 2020 at 4:46 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Nearly 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    chloewong66
    University: Civil Aviation University of China
    Nationality: China
    February 13, 2020 at 3:40 pm

    At a young age, it is necessary and beneficial to grasp money management skills. Some parents may prefer to take over this task to prevent irrational behaviors of kids. After all, they are the owners of money. However, this control is overwhelming. If kids do not know how to manage their deposition at a young age, they will be more confused when they grow up. Detailed benefits of independent management are below.

    First of all, this behavior helps kids learn to make rational choices. Before they become financially responsible people, a few mistakes will occur. At a young age, it is acceptable because of the smaller number of money. Once they learned how to manage money from mistakes, they won’t worry about irrational behaviors. For example, when people are shopping, the price of items on their wishes list sometimes surpasses the money they earned. To fix this situation, people who manage their own money since a young age will have more chances searching for an alternative. But those who did not will try to save money for the item, even apply for the loan. In other words, children can easily learn to make rational choices, unlike growen-ups. In the end,  they get perception of value through these choices and won’t buy something out of impulse.

    Secondly, children can learn to pay efforts before gaining something. When I was young, I was paid by two coins for doing the dishes after lunch, per time. It is not delighted to do that, but I need the money for a popular comic book. After this policy in my family, I earned honored coins with my effort. Also, I started to believe that you must pay some efforts to exchange for what you want.

    In light of the above, although kids do not spend the money they earn, they should be trusted to be independent. That is the only way they learn what money can do, how they can get money, and become financially responsible when they grow up.

    • This reply was modified 3 days, 15 hours ago by Lin QiuLin Qiu.
    February 17, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    Score: 74.9

    Issues:

    1. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.