In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. What might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Renting a house or buying one has become a matter of concern to [many ]people, especially those living in cities. In some countries, such as China, owning a home is added into[to/onto ] the to-do-list of life time. This essay will discuss why some people give priority to buying a house and raise my opinion.

In terms of reasons, people living in countries [unclear ]consider buying a house an ultimate goal, [punctuation error ]because houses are expensive and owning a house is a[ the] symbol of social status, which means they finally settle down in these countries[wordy/split into two sentences ]. It[unclear pronoun ] is quite common in China, where parents think that buying a house after work [unclear ]is [article error ]sign of competence for their children. Additionally, compared [word form error ]to buying a house, residents feel insecure if they rent a house, [ punctuation error/subjunctive voice error]because they are worried about being evicted by landlords. What’s more, it is quite difficult to rent an ideal house in these countries[ unclear]. For example, most house [word form error ]for renting tend to be old and poor [word form error ]facilitated.

In my view, the pursuit of buying a house is a negative situation for both the country and the individuals. It is a common sense that when demand exceeds supply, the price will rise; therefore, if more people show thirst of owning one house, the price of houses will rise, causing a growing number of people can’t afford to buy houses. Besides, high prices may bring about social conflicts. For instance, the gap between the rich and the poor will be widened as the rich will make more money by investing in real estate while the poor cannot afford to buy a house. For individuals, if they see buying a house as their life goal, they will be exhausted. For instance, lots of people buy a house on a bank loan and many of them have to repay loan for more than 20 years.

In conclusion, both internal and external factors cause people to think that buying a home rather than renting one is important, though I don’t support the preference.

Final Revision

Renting a house or buying one has become a matter of concern to many people, especially those living in cities. In some countries, such as China, owning a home is added to the to-do-list of life time [for many people  ]. This essay will discuss why some people give priority to buying a house and raise my opinion.

In terms of reasons, some people consider buying a house an ultimate goal because houses are expensive and owning a house is the symbol of social status;[. In other words,   ] therefore, owning a house means they finally settle down in these countries. The pursuit of buying [ Purchasing  ] a house is quite common in China, where parents think that buying a house after having a job [owning a home  ] is a sign of competence for their children. Additionally, comparing to buying a house, residents [ people would  ] feel insecure if they rent [ rented  ] a house because they are worried about being evicted by landlords. What’s more, it is quite difficult to rent an ideal house in some countries. For example, most houses for renting tend to be old and in poor condition[  and poorly maintained ] .

In my view, the pursuit of buying a house is a negative situation for both the country and the individuals [ unclear  ] . It is a common sense that when demand exceeds supply, the price will rise; [ . Therefore  ] therefore, if more people show [showed   ] thirst [ the need  ] of owning one house, the price of houses will [would   ] rise, causing a growing number of people can’t afford to buy houses [unaffordable for many   ] . Besides, high  [  housing ] prices may bring about social conflicts. For instance, the gap between the rich and the poor will be widened[ widens  ] as [ when  ] the rich will make more money by investing in real estate[ , leaving  ] while the poor cannot afford to buy a house[ worse off  ] . For individuals, if they see[ regarded  ] buying a house as their life goal, they will [ would  ] be exhausted[ unclear  ] . For instance, lots of people buy a house on a bank loan[ , so  ] and many of them have to repay loan for more than 20 years.

In conclusion, both internal and external[ unclear  ] factors cause people to think that buying a home rather than renting one is important, though I don’t support the preference[ unclear  ] .