In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit. While some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit. While some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  • zhang shuai
    University: Northwest University
    Nationality: Chinese
    December 19, 2020 at 2:30 pm

    In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit. While some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

    People without work are offered one kind of pension regularly to save them from poverty.There are conflicting views on if this policy is reasonable, and I tend to support this kind of pension.

    Admittedly, there are some solid reasons why authorities should not pay money for jobless people. Firstly, it may encourage some lazy citizens to quit their jobs and earn a life through pensions. As it could be very unfair for workers who dedicate their jobs day after day to supporting these lazy spongers, society may become much more unstable. Besides, it could cost too much money for governments and lead to public finance shortages in other areas, such as education, science and military.

    Despite the above arguments, I believe that the government should spend money on people who lose their job as there are some advantages we cannot ignore. First of all, it prevents some poor people from famine. In modern society, we cannot allow people to commit crime just because they cannot afford a loaf of bread like Jean Valjean. And some people would not choose to be a robber or thief if they were given a sum of money for basic living. Apart from that, with the development of the economy, anyone may lose his or her job when there is an economic crisis no matter whether he or she is hardworking or not. Therefore, pension can be one kind of insurance for all of us.

    In conclusion, my view is that authorities should pay jobless limited amount of money to support their basic living standards.

    January 10, 2021 at 6:54 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. Most sentences are unclear.
    3. Minimize the use of ‘ there be..’

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.