In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people to do this.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people to do this.

  • hhhhhhh
    University: sun yat-sen university
    Nationality: china
    December 21, 2020 at 3:19 pm

    In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people to do this.

    As is known to all, in some countries, young people, between finishing high school and starting university studies, are encouraged to work or travel for a year.

    Obviously, those finishing high school are in fact finishing an important period for their life. They may be tired but excited to find something new, and thus, as in many areas, young people come to prepare for their university life. However, actually the preparation is not adequate in the short summer holiday for some students. So the one-year gap for work or travel before university studies is of significant role. Students may greatly broaden their horizons when travelling out of their hometown. They may have a further understanding of politics, economics and cultures of the outside world, which may help a lot, especially if they major in something related to this in future university studies. Moreover, working before university studies may help the students to learn the rules of making correlation with others in the real context of society outside the school. which may help a lot in universities.

    Nevertheless, each coin has two sides. Working or travelling for one year before starting university studies may also have some disadvantages for young people. For instance, if going outside alone, the problem of safety is really important. Some youths love to take adventures and if they are given a whole year outside, how to keep them safe is confusing.

    In short, working or travelling year between finishing high school and starting university studies have both advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the young people themselves and their families to make the choice.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 10, 2021 at 6:48 pm

    Score: 56.6

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    hhhhhhh
    University: sun yat-sen university
    Nationality: china
    January 12, 2021 at 1:44 am

    As is known to all, in some countries, young people, between finishing high school and starting university studies, are encouraged to work or travel for a year.

    Those finishing the high school period are finishing one of the most important periods of their life. They are tired but excited to find something new, and thus, as in many areas, young people come to prepare for their university life. However, the preparation is not adequate in the short summer holiday for some students. So the one-year gap for work or travel before university studies is of significant role. Students can broaden their horizons when traveling out of their hometown. They may have a further understanding of politics, economics, and cultures of the outside world. This may help a lot, especially if they major in something related to this in their future university studies.

    Moreover, working before university may help the students to learn the rules of making acquaintance with others in the real context of society rather than simply in the schools.
    Nevertheless, each coin has two sides. Working or traveling for one year before starting university studies may also have some disadvantages. For instance, if going outside alone, the problem of safety is really of great importance. Some youths love to take adventures and if they were given a whole year outside, but how to keep them safe is confusing.

    In short, working or traveling a year before starting university studies have both advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the young people themselves and their families to make the choice.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 12, 2021 at 7:10 pm

    Score: 61

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.