In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.

  • aiba
    University: Guangdong University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 7, 2021 at 2:09 pm

    In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

    When is comes to whether young generation should be encouraged to take a gap year before they go to college in some countries, from my perspective, its benefit may outweigh drawbacks.

    It is undeniable that taking a gap year will bring young students advantages. First and foremost, it will help students to have a broader career path. Since the young go to work before they enter university, they can gain a large amount of working experience. Therefore, compared with their peers, they may have the superiority when applying for a job, as a result that these young people will have better chance of being hired successfully. Moreover, such a year can promote the young to figure out the most suitable job for themselves. On condition that high school graduates can get a chance to seek information or a part-time job that related to the major of interest, in order to touch that professional field at advance, so that they will have a clearer mind to determine what they actually want to do in the future. Besides, Having a year to travel enable young people to obtain international option. It’s not rare to see that students who traveled in gap year always have a wider world view since taking trip to all over the world make them expose to variety of culture, and it is benefit for them to adapt new study life in university and brand new life in society in their future time.

    However, the downsides of taking a gap year can not be underestimated. To be start, having a year not to go to school may be unaffordable. Since the bill of transportation, housing or daily consume will be create when traveling, it is too expensive for a student who have no income. In addition, getting such a year to gap will make the young lag behind their peers. For the reason that having no study work for a year may make them lose their motivation to keep working hard in college. Consequently, they will fail to pass the exam or get bad grade.

    April 8, 2021 at 1:48 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    3. Lots of grammatical errors.
    aiba
    University: Guangdong University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    April 10, 2021 at 2:49 pm

    When it comes to whether young graduates should be inspired to take a gap year instead of going to college immediately, from my perspective, its benefit may outweigh drawbacks.

    It is undeniable that taking a gap year will bring young students advantages. First and foremost, it will help students to have a broader career path. Since the young go to work before they enter university, they can gain a large amount of working experience.

    Therefore, compared with their peers, these young people will have a better chance of being hired successfully.

    Moreover, such a year can help high school graduates to figure out the most suitable job for themselves. On condition that they can seek information or a part-time job that related to the major of interest in the period of gap, as well as touch some professional field in advance, they will have a clearer mind to determine what they want to do in the future. Besides, Having a year to travel enable young people to obtain international options. It’s not rare to see that students who traveled in gap year always have a broader view of the world, since traveling around allow them to expose to variety of culture, which is beneficial for them to adapt to new study life in university.

    However, the downsides of taking a gap year can not be underestimated. To start with, having a year not to go to school may be unaffordable. Since the bill of transportation, housing, and daily consumption will be created when traveling, it is too expensive for a student who has no income. Additionally, getting such a year will make the young lag behind their peers. On account of having no study work for a year, it may make them lose their motivation to keep working hard in college. Consequently, they will fail to pass the exam or get bad grades.

    April 11, 2021 at 2:53 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 35% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.