In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your reason and example.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your reason and example.

  • liurui
    University: 北京信息职业技术学院
    Nationality: China
    October 27, 2019 at 1:47 am

    IELTS Writing Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your reason and example.

    If slaughtering animals were used as a source of food, I would agree with this discussion to 30%. More and more people are willing to protect the ecological environment which is closely linked with our life.

    The earth is like a mother who gives us life, she has all kinds of children, sharing her love with everyone,which contains humans and animals.

    Nowadays, the humans will not kill animals evilly,they make artificial leather or cotton textile, as a material for clothing rather than animal skin. Not the only one, people prefer to feed some animals what they like, such as bunny, dog and cat. To accompany their lives to become their spiritual support or narrator. Another reason, animals can also become helpers of human beings, each taking. For the bee, bees collect flowers to provide honey for the beekeeper, the man gives bees a home to live in .

    But fortunately, almost all people realize the problem that protects the environment is a highly significant matter. A few people like to slaughter wild animals to prove their hunting results, so rare animals gradually decreased in recent years.

    According to this phenomenon, human beings could breed animals that obtain energy as food is superior to killing animals that are going extinct in modern society.

    In summary, I think it is very important to protect animals at the present stage.

    October 27, 2019 at 2:50 am

    IELTS Writing Topic: In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing and medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give your reason and example.

    Score: 59.6

    1. Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    2. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate problems/errors of your essay.

    October 27, 2019 at 2:52 am

    If slaughtering animals were used as a source of food [very confusing/Slaughtering here means vastly different when it is used as noun and adjective, respectively.  ], I would agree with this discussion to 30%. [  Lack of a coordinating word/phrase here] More and more people are willing to protect the ecological environment which is closely linked with our life.

    The earth[ conventions error ] is like a mother who gives us life, [ punctuation error ]she has all kinds of children, sharing her love with everyone,which [incorrect pronoun  ]contains humans and animals.

    Nowadays, the humans will [ grammatical error/tense ]not kill animals evilly,[ punctuation error ]they make artificial leather or cotton textile, [ punctuation error ]as a material for clothing rather than animal skin. Not the only one,[  unclear] people prefer to feed [ wrong word ]some animals what they like, such as bunny, dog and cat. To accompany their [ unclear pronoun/animals or people? ]lives to become their spiritual support or narrator. Another reason, [  grammatical error]animals can also become helpers of[ incorrect preposition ] human beings, each taking[ grammatical error ]. For the bee,[  grammatical error] bees collect flowers to provide honey for the beekeeper, [ punctuation/grammatical error ]the man gives bees a home to live in .

    But fortunately[unclear  ], almost all people realize the problem [  incorrect word]that protects [  grammatical error]the environment is a highly significant matter. A few people like to slaughter wild animals to prove their hunting results, so rare animals gradually decreased in recent years.

    According to this phenomenon, human beings could breed animals that [ grammatical error ]obtain energy as food is superior to killing animals that are going extinct in modern society[Unclear  ].

    In summary, I think it is very important to protect animals at the present stage.