In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

  • Matilda
    University: BJTU
    Nationality: Chinese
    November 24, 2020 at 2:25 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

    In the past, teenagers were subject to their parents’ opinions and thus barely made their own decision. In recent years, however, this situation has begun to change. I believe the youngsters of the present day can determine their own lives better than in the past, since the relations within families are getting more flexible, and many parents are changing their way of cultivating their children.

    The atmosphere within families has altered a lot. Several decades ago, parents were stricter with their children. Some of them wanted their offspring to follow their path and inherit the family business. For example, if a little boy’s father was a carpenter, it was very likely that he would also become a carpenter. The father would impart his son the knowledge concerning how to use certain tools to make wood crafts. In this case, the son’s path had long been set. He was destined to be a man like his dad when he grew up. The kid could not do much about it since he was probably too young to make his own decisions.

    In sharp contrast, nowadays more and more parents have learned to “let go.” They only provide their children with necessary caring and education. And as their sons or daughters grow older, they would probably pay less attention to their children’s growth. That’s because these parents know that no matter how much things they do for their offspring, the kids sometimes still would not be developing along the way in which their parents wish them to go. And in some cases, the more parents care for their children, the less the children would be independent and mature. I have a college roommate whose parents really spoil him. He asks his mom and dad for opinions on virtually every issue. One time, he even let his father help him to write his paper for his economics class, which was rather eye-opening.

    In conclusion, with a more open relationship between family members and a more advanced idea that parents have started to adopt, teenagers can make more decisions than ever for their future.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 3, 2020 at 4:04 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Article errors
    3. Wordy – simplify sentences and remove unnecessary words

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Matilda
    University: BJTU
    Nationality: Chinese
    December 3, 2020 at 8:04 am

    In the past, teenagers were subject to their parents’ opinions and barely made their own decisions. In recent years, however, this situation has begun to change. I believe the youngsters of the present day can determine their own lives better than in the past, since their relations with their family members are getting more flexible, and many parents are changing their means of cultivating their children.

    The atmosphere within families has altered a lot. Several decades ago, parents were stricter with their children. Some of them wanted their offspring to follow their path and inherit the family business. If a little boy’s father was a carpenter, it was likely that he would also become a carpenter. The father would impart his son the knowledge concerning how to make wood crafts. He was destined to be a man like his dad. In this case, the kid did not have many choices since he was too young to make his own decisions. His path had long been set.

    In sharp contrast, nowadays, more and more parents have learned to “let go.” They only provide their children with the necessary caring and education. And as their sons or daughters grow older, they would pay less attention to their children’s growth. These parents know that sometimes their attempt at steering their children would be futile. The kids just will not be developing as their parents expect. And in some cases, the more parents care for their children, the less the children become independent and mature. I have a college roommate whose parents spoil him. They give him instructions on copious issues. Once, he even let his father help him write his paper for his economics class, which was rather eye-opening.

    In conclusion, with a more open relationship between family members and a more advanced idea that parents have started to adopt, teenagers can make more decisions than ever, for their own sake.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 3, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    In the past, teenagers were subject to their parents’ opinions and [, so they  ]barely made their own decisions. In recent years, however, this situation has begun to change. I believe the youngsters of the present day can determine their own lives better than [ their counterparts did ]in the past [.  ], since [I believe this change stems from the facts that  ]their relations with their family members are getting more flexible, and [  and that ]many parents are changing their means of cultivating their children.

    The [First,   ]atmosphere within families [ domestic environment ]has altered a lot [ considerably ]. Several decades ago, parents were stricter with their children. [ For example, some parents ]Some of them wanted their offspring to follow their path and inherit the family business. If a little boy’s father was a carpenter, it was likely that he would also become a carpenter [due to parental influence  ]. The father would impart his son the knowledge concerning how to make wood crafts. He [, and the boy  ]was destined to be a man like his dad. In this case, the kid did not have many choices since he was too young to make his own decisions. His path had long been set.

    In sharp contrast, nowadays, more and more parents have learned to “let go.” They only provide their children with the necessary caring and education. And as [As  ]their sons or daughters grow older, they would pay less attention to their children’s growth. These parents know that sometimes their attempt at steering their children would be futile. The kids just will not be developing as their parents expect. And in some cases, the more parents care for their children, the less the children become independent and mature. I have a college roommate whose parents spoil him. They give him instructions on copious issues. Once, he even let his father help him write his paper for his economics class, which was rather eye-opening.

    In conclusion, with a more open relationship between family members and a more advanced idea that parents have started to adopt, teenagers can make more decisions than ever, for their own sake.

    Matilda
    University: BJTU
    Nationality: Chinese
    December 4, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    In the past, teenagers were subject to their parents’ opinions, so they barely made their own decisions. In recent years, however, this situation has begun to change. The youngsters of the present day can determine their own lives better than their counterparts did in the past. I believe this change stems from the facts (that their relations with their family members are getting more flexible, and that many parents are changing their means of cultivating their children)[ verbose and unclear – use 2 short noun phrases instead ].

    First, the domestic environment has altered considerably. Several decades ago, parents were stricter with their children. For example, some parents wanted their offspring to follow their path and inherit the family business. If a little boy’s father was a carpenter, it was likely that he would also become a carpenter due to parental influence. The father would impart [ carpentry skills to ]his son the knowledge concerning how to make wood crafts, and the boy was destined to be a man like his dad. In this case, the kid did not have many choices since he was too young to make his own decisions. His path had long been set.

    In sharp contrast, nowadays, more parents have learned to (“let go.”)[ unclear ] They only provide their children with the necessary caring and education. As their sons or daughters grow older, they would pay less attention to their children’s growth. These parents know that sometimes their attempt at steering[ wrong word ] their children would be futile. The kids (just will not be developing)[ unclear ] as their parents expect. And [Coordination conjunction error  ]in some cases, the more parents care for their children, the less the children become independent and mature. I have a college roommate whose parents spoil him. They give him instructions on copious issues. Once, he even let his father help him write his paper for his economics class, which was rather (eye-opening)[use literal writing  ].

    In conclusion, with a more open relationship between family members and a( more advanced idea that parents have started to adopt)[unclear  ], teenagers can make more decisions than ever,[ punctuation error ] for their own sake.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 5, 2020 at 1:55 am

    Good job!

    Matilda
    University: BJTU
    Nationality: Chinese
    December 5, 2020 at 6:08 am

    In the past, teenagers were subject to their parents’ opinions, so they barely made their own decisions. In recent years, however, this situation has begun to change. The youngsters of the present day can determine their own lives better than their counterparts did in the past. I believe this change stems from a more flexible parent-child relationship and a gradual shift in parents’ education philosophy.

    First, the domestic environment has altered considerably. Several decades ago, parents were stricter with their children. For example, some parents wanted their offspring to follow their path and inherit the family business. If a little boy’s father was a carpenter, it was likely that he would also become a carpenter due to parental influence. The father would impart carpentry skills to his son. In this case, the kid did not have many choices since he was too young to make his own decisions. His path had long been set.

    In sharp contrast, nowadays, more parents have learned to let go of their children. They only provide their children with necessary caring and education. As their sons or daughters grow older, they would pay less attention to their children’s growth. These parents know that sometimes their attempt at perfecting their children would be futile. At times, kids just do not grow as their parents expect. In some cases, the more parents care for their children, the less the children become independent and mature. I have a college roommate whose parents spoil him. They give him instructions on copious issues. Once, he even let his father help him write his paper for his economics class, which proved harmful to his development of character.

    In conclusion, with a more open relationship between family members and an idea adopted by their parents to let them run their course, teenagers can make more decisions than ever for their own sake.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 7, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    In the past, teenagers were subject to their parents’ opinions, so they barely made their own decisions. In recent years, however, this situation has begun to change. The youngsters of the present day can determine their own lives better than their counterparts did in the past. I believe this change stems from a more flexible parent-child relationship and a gradual shift in parents’ education philosophy.

    First, the domestic environment has altered considerably. Several decades ago, parents were stricter with their children. For example, some parents wanted their offspring to follow their path and inherit the family business. If a little boy’s father was a carpenter, it was likely that he would also become a carpenter due to parental influence. The father would impart carpentry skills to his son. In this case, the kid did not have many choices since he was too young to make his own decisions. His path had long been set.

    In sharp contrast, nowadays, more [ many ] parents have learned to let go of [ offer ]their children [ more freedom ]. They only provide their children (with necessary caring and education)[unclear  ]. As their sons or daughters grow older, they would pay less attention to their children’s growth. These parents know that sometimes their attempt at perfecting their children would be futile. At times, kids( just do not grow as their parents expect)[ unclear ]. In some cases, the more parents care for their children, the less the children become independent and mature. I have a college roommate whose parents spoil him. [choppy sentence  ]They give him instructions on copious issues. Once, he even let his father help him write his paper for his economics[Ec0nomics  ] class, which proved harmful to his development of character.

    In conclusion, with a more open relationship between family members and an idea adopted by their parents to let them run their[unclear pronoun  ] course[ unclear ], teenagers can make more decisions than ever for their own sake.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 12, 2020 at 5:57 pm

    Final revision.

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