In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Do you agree or disagree with the topic?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Do you agree or disagree with the topic?

  • MDinCN
    University: Guangzhou univerisity of TMC
    Nationality: China
    July 21, 2020 at 1:30 pm

    In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Do you agree or disagree with the topic?

    Car as the mainstream transportation contribute a lot for our society, it apparently deserves to be called one of the greatest inventions of the world. Most of citizens’ commuting depends on cars. But with rapid development of whole world, many new technology and alternatives are applied in our daily life, I do agree the statement that there will be less cars exist and people have to change their behaviors inevitably for the following reasons.

    First of all, there are too many cars be created and they make the whole city be paralyzed especially in rush hours. People have to figure out how to deal with this problem as it really makes one who is in emergence upset. Cars dump on the road lead many urgent situations to be worse. For example, there always be some serious patients need to be care immediately after accidents happen, however, the ambulance from the nearest hospital can hardly arrive at time because it usually stuck in their way to people who get injuries. Too many cars in cities constantly be problematic and it make people live difficultly so there should be fewer cars driving on roads.

    In addition, all of us could not deny the fact that flying transportation like the plane is intensively faster than what we drive on land. Though it is crazy about having private plane for normal citizens, nevertheless, it is more closed to reality than a remote dream as many huge technical companies such as Apple, Google and Tesla have doing a lot of research to create types of little cheap private flying transportation which can be afford by ordinary families. It is no doubt in the future, these astonishing high-tech machines would lead the whole society to a brand-new era, we can get to our destination in a very fast speed.

    In conclusion, driving cars must be obsolete in the future and more and more “fashion” way must be explored in the not far distant future.

    July 21, 2020 at 3:54 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lots of article errors;
    2. Lots of grammatical errors;
    3. Punctuation errors (comma and semicolon);
    4. About 80% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    5. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.