In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

  • chendl
    University: Sichuan University
    Nationality: China
    October 21, 2020 at 11:44 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Cars see our modern history, since their invention in the Second Industrial Revolution.  But, with the development of public transportation, like more railway systems or airlines, some people doubt that there will be fewer cars in the future. Personally, I disagree with this prediction, and I will demonstrate my points in my following essay.

    Firstly, I have to admit that the development of public transportation, like the subway, on some occasions decrease the use of cars in our daily life. Especially in big cities, traffic jams caused by private cars usually cost us several hours to get to our destination, like the heavy traffic in New York City, while the subway can be more convenient. However, in these metropolitans, there are still so many districts that are not accessed by subway, like many rural areas, moreover, a large crowd of people in a small subway station can be another reason that explains why many people still choose their car, getting them to every corner of their huge cities.

    Secondly, in some small cities, like the middle areas of American, neighborhoods are scattered all around the town, costing people a long time traveling between their homes and other parts of cities. Like my own experience in Seattle, even in this big city, there are still so many small towns, with no public transportation at all. I drove for twenty minutes to a convenient store, only to buy me a can of coke. As for people who live in these rural areas which will not be covered by transportation systems, cars are necessary for their daily life, thus they will not be replaced by other transportation methods.

    To sum up, because of the drawbacks of public transportation, there are many corners in big cities, and small cities in rural areas that cannot be covered by bus, let alone subway. Meanwhile, owning a private car is still a trend in developed countries. The use of cars will not decrease, in my opinion, it will grow even faster in the future.

    October 21, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    Score: ungraded


    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Word choice errors
    4. Many sentences are unclear

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.