In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry

  • Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 20, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    A deer is wondering on the natural land of the American west.

    In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    For people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appearing that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economy development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. In my opinion, I firmly believe that there are more need to leave more land in its natural condition.

    For one thing, protecting environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, there are many serious environmental problems should be solved. All the cases teach us a lesson that we must get along with the nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for the nature have the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting the natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more nature resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. There are many other measures to fit this need. For instance, experts can make use of the lands more effectively by reasonable and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for there are more need for land to be left in its natural condition.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 21, 2019 at 4:44 pm

    Score: 62.9

    Suggestions For Improvement

    • Avoid using ‘There BE…”

    Problems Highlight

    For people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appearing that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economy [Grammatical Error]development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. [Verbose]In my opinion, I firmly believe that there are [Grammatical Error]more need to leave more land in its natural condition.

    For one thing, protecting [Article Error]environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, there are many serious environmental problems should be solved[Passive-voice].[Verbose] All the cases teach us a lesson that we must get along with the nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for the nature have [Grammatical Error]the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting the natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more nature [Grammatical Error]resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. [Verbose]There are many other measures to fit this need. For instance, experts can make use of the lands more effectively by reasonable and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for there are [Grammatical Error]more need for land to be left in its natural condition.

    Comment: There are more issues than those highlighted problems. Please rewrite and resubmit your essay for revision. 

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 22, 2019 at 1:43 pm

    Modified Version:

    For modern people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appear that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economic development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. In my opinion, there are more need to leave more land in its natural condition.

    For one thing, protecting the environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, many serious environmental problems are waiting to be solved. The cases remind us that we must get along with the nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for the nature has the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting the natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more natural resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. We can use many other measures to fit this need. For instance, taking advice from experts can more effectively make use of the lands by reasonable and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for land should be left in its natural condition.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 23, 2019 at 3:10 am

    Score: 61.4

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    • Minimize use of adverbs.

    Problems Highlight

    For modern people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appear that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economic development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. In my opinion, there are [Grammatical Error]more need to leave more land in its natural condition.

    For one thing, protecting the environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, many serious environmental problems are waiting to be solved. The cases remind us that we must get along with the[article error] nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for the [article error] nature has the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting the[article error] natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more natural resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. We can use many other measures to fit this need. For instance, taking advice from experts can more effectively make use of the lands by [article error]reasonable and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the[article error] nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for land should be left in its natural condition.

    Sherry
    University: XD University
    Nationality: China
    May 26, 2019 at 2:28 am

    Modified Version 2:

    For modern people pay more attention to the environment, more and more voices appear that we should leave more land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economic development plays a critical role too, and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry. In my opinion, the need to leave more land in its natural condition is more important.

    For one thing, protecting the environment is imperative nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently, especially in China, many serious environmental problems are waiting to be solved. The cases remind us that we must get along with nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it from becoming worse is to avoid influence it, for nature has the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more natural resource to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. We can use many other measures to fit this need. For instance, taking advice from experts can more effectively make use of the lands by rational and environmental-friendly way. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable is the prior reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for land should be left in its natural condition.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 27, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    Score: 60.8

    Problem Highlight

    For modern people pay more attention to the environment[making no sense], more and more voices appear that we should leave more [Repitition] land in its natural condition. Simultaneously, economic development plays a critical role too [logical incompleteness], and some people support to develop more land for housing and industry[logical incompleteness]. In my opinion, the need to leave more land in its natural condition is more important [logical incompleteness and vague expression].

    For one thing, protecting the environment is imperative [logical incompleteness and vague expression]nowadays. We can hear the reports about the polluted environment frequently [wrong adverb position], especially in China, many serious environmental problems are waiting to be solved[Passive voice]. The cases remind us that we must get along with nature well. And one of the best ways to prevent it [unclear pronoun] from becoming worse is to avoid influence[Grammatical Error] it[unclear pronoun], for nature has the ability to heal itself. Moreover, promoting [Wrong word] natural condition is a wise decision for further and long-term development. In the long run, we may have more natural resource [Grammatical Error] to use.

    Admittedly, exploiting lands for housing and industry would bring economic merits, but it would also bring defects. We can use many other measures to fit this need [Unclear]. For instance, taking advice from experts can more [lack subject o compare] effectively make use of the lands by [article issue]rational and environmental-friendly way[singular form]. In addition, from my perspective, wasting lands or using them unreasonable [Grammatical Error] is the prior [wrong word] reason for lacking lands.

    Just as we usually express, staying with the nature harmoniously is always one of the priorities we should obey [wrong word]. But the virtues in front of us often lead us to the wrong choice. For the reasons above, I stand for land should be left in its natural condition.

    Comment: There are more issues than those highlighted ones. You are advised to do some high-quality reading to improve your language sense. Rewrite and resubmit your essay for reviewing and revision.