After completing high school, students should take at least a year off to work or travel before they begin studying at a university.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing After completing high school, students should take at least a year off to work or travel before they begin studying at a university.

  • Betty
    University: High school student
    Nationality: China
    August 18, 2020 at 1:29 am

    After completing high school, students should take at least a year off to work or travel before they begin studying at a university.

    As the society is developing by leaps and bounds, more and more high-tech companies emerge. We also see a growing trend that younger workers take charges of instructing senior workers. In this case, an issue pertaining to whether companies should request younger workers to mentor senior workers tiggers the vibrant discussion. While the masses hold divergent ideas, I strongly agree with the perspective that younger workers should take responsibilities of instructing their senior colleagues.

    First of all, younger workers are more specialized in the use of high-tech equipments than those elder workers. To be more specific, youngsters who grow up with the rapid development of technology get frequent contact with up-dated devices. Their capabilities to operate newly introduced machines definitely triumph over those of seniors who hardly ever got chances to use high-tech products when they were young. Hence, allowing youngsters to tech seniors is an efficient strategy of training workers.

    In addition, requiring younger workers to instruct senior workers will improve the general working atmosphere, boosting the working efficiency as well. When younger workers teach senior, there is no obvious difference in working positions. The youngsters are more inclined to employ some jokes to alleviate the stressful working environment, enabling all workers to work in relaxing environment with high efficiency. Conversely, if elder workers instruct younger workers, their relationship tends to develop into parents with solemn faces and their immature kids. Under this circumstance, an invisible tension will be exposed in the working process. This will impose psychological burdens to younger workers, distracting their attentions and greatly reducing their working pace.

    To conclude, it is no denying to state that senior workers are more experienced than younger workers in management. However, there are sufficient reasons to show that companies should require younger workers to instruct elder workers, especially in uses of high-tech equipments.

    August 21, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    Score: 45

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Lots of article errors.
    3. Many wordy sentences.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.