It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject.

  • cot
    University: Southeast University
    Nationality: China
    October 22, 2019 at 11:36 am

    TOEFL Writing Topic (TPO 12): It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject.

    Recently, college students are encouraged to learn many academic subjects to broaden their horizon. I appreciate the policy that exposes us to a more colorful world. However, I think specializing in one specific subject is more important for the good of students’ future.

    First of all, specializing in one specific subject enables us to get hold of a better job because our knowledge and skills of a certain aspect need to be proficient enough. For instance, I dream to enter the investment bank in the future. And this job requires me to have a good understanding towards the theory of finance. What I need to do is to read text books in microeconomics, macroeconomics, corporate finance and so on. Even though I have a broad knowledge of art or history, it doesn’t help a lot because the subjects don’t match my career goal.

    What’s more, I think specializing in one subject encourages students to devote more and be persistent than having broad knowledqe. When you dig deeper in a certain aspect, you will find it more and more difficult to learn. When I was a freshman, I just need to read some elementary theory and draw simple graphs. However, after I became a sophomore, I found that we need cope with large quantity of data to figure out the conclusions than just remember several words of theory. And focusing in one subject really trains me to become more patient and persistent.

    At last, if no one wants to specialize in doing chemistry research in the laboratory and make great breakthroughs. There will not be accomplishments in medicine any longer. Then how to cure so many weird diseases all over the world?

    From all the analysis above, specializing in one subjects enables us to gain knowledge for a decent job, encourages us to be more persistent and contributes to the development of science and technology. Undoubtedly, it is better to specialize in one subject than spending too much time for a broad knowledge of many academic subjects.

    October 22, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    TOEFL Writing Topic (TPO 12): It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject.

    Score: 65.7

    Recommendation: Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate problems/errors of your essay.

    cot
    University: Southeast University
    Nationality: China
    October 28, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    Recently, college students are encouraged to learn many academic subjects to broaden their horizons. I appreciate the policy that exposes us to a more colorful world. Nevertheless, specializing in one specific major is more important for the good of students’ future.

    First of all, specializing in one specific subject enables us to get hold of a better job because our knowledge and skills of a certain aspect need to be proficient enough. For instance, I dream of entering the investment bank in the future. And this job requires me to have a good understanding of the theory of finance. What I need to do is to read textbooks in microeconomics, macroeconomics, and so on. Even though I have a broad knowledge of art or history, it doesn’t help a lot because the subjects don’t match my career goal.

    What’s more, focusing on one subject encourages students to devote more and be persistent than having broad knowledge. When you dig deeper into a certain aspect, you will find it more and more difficult to learn. When I was a freshman, I need to read some elementary theory and draw simple graphs. However, after I became a sophomore, I found that we need cope with a large quantity of data to figure out the conclusions rather than remember several words of theory.

    In addition, concentrating on one major costs less time than learning too many subjects. Take myself for example, I will do internships in accounting firms and investment banks during the semester after finishing my homework of my major. If I learn too many majors at a time, there will be no time left for internships and other interesting activities.

    From all the analyses above, specializing in one subject enables us to gain knowledge for a decent job, encourages us to be more persistent, and costs less time. So, it is better to specialize in one subject than spending too much time on broad knowledge of many majors.

    October 29, 2019 at 12:59 am

    Score: Ungraded

    Recently, college students are  [ grammatical error] encouraged to learn many academic subjects [factual error ] to broaden their horizons. I appreciate the policy [lack logical connection from the prior sentence/the subject of a sentence better echoes the subject, or the object, of the prior sentence. ] that exposes us to a more colorful [wrong word ] world. Nevertheless, specializing in one specific major is [Be verb ] more important [ vague word] for the good of students’ future [ redundant] .

    First of all, specializing in [repetition ] one specific subject enables [factual error/better use conditional words such as COULD ] us to get hold of [ wordy] a better job because our knowledge and skills of a certain aspect need to be proficient enough [wordy ] . For instance, I dream of entering the investment bank in the future. [ punctuation/coordinating word error] And this job requires me to have a good understanding of the theory of finance. [ lack of transitory word] What I need to do is to read textbooks in relation to microeconomics, macroeconomics, and so on. Even though I have a broad knowledge of art and or history, it [ unclear pronoun] doesn’t [NOT ] help a lot because the subjects don’t [ NOT] match my career goal.

    [Your essay contains many errors, so I will not revise the remaining part of your essay. I will send you some Writing Tips. Spend several days learning the Writing Tips and then rewrite your essay.]

     

    What’s more, focusing on one subject encourages students to devote more and be persistent than having broad knowledge. When you dig deeper into a certain aspect, you will find it more and more difficult to learn. When I was a freshman, I need to read some elementary theory and draw simple graphs. However, after I became a sophomore, I found that we need cope with a large quantity of data to figure out the conclusions rather than remember several words of theory.

    In addition, concentrating on one major costs less time than learning too many subjects. Take myself for example, I will do internships in accounting firms and investment banks during the semester after finishing my homework of my major. If I learn too many majors at a time, there will be no time left for internships and other interesting activities.

    From all the analyses above, specializing in one subject enables us to gain knowledge for a decent job, encourages us to be more persistent, and costs less time. So, it is better to specialize in one subject than spending too much time on broad knowledge of many majors.