It is better to work for business owned by someone else than to work for the business of one’s own family.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing It is better to work for business owned by someone else than to work for the business of one’s own family.

  • Ricardo
    University: NUAA
    Nationality: China
    September 10, 2019 at 11:12 am

    TOEFL Writing Topic: It is better to work for business owned by someone else than to work for the business of one’s own family.

    People working for a company owned by his own family will have more access to the key information which could let them make more progress.For example, a designer lack of experience is in great need of those successful design cases to help them know how to design a construction in reality and learn about various requests from different customers. If he works for others company, he may be authorized to read only a few documents, while his own family’s company would allow him to check all he needs. With more samples learned, he could rapidly enhance himself . Besides, because of the trust between family members, he could get promoted more quickly than working for someone else which could help him form his own customer net prepared for a further promotion. As for a computer programmer who just graduated from college, he might have to work a lot of overtime doing those basic and boring job unless he works in his own family’s cooperation. There he could do some superior projects with some unfamiliar problems that he never comes across. That could substantially improve his coding ability and teach him how to tackle problems.

    Besides, people will suffer less pressure working in their family’s company . Because they have blood ties with their family , the superior may not be that vigorous to them and will be more forgivable to them when mistakes occur. Take electronic engineers for example . They will have to finish satisfying projects before the deadline to get the bonus. The superior will loosen their requirements for those working for family company like turning a blind eye to the bugs or they may elongate the deadline debugging the project. That could not only let them suffer less pressure during testing the system they build , but also allow them to get more bonus compared with those don’t work for family company.

    September 10, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Score: 59.2

    You need to improve your essay by addressing the following problems:

    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    • Restrict each paragraph to 85 words;
    • Convert most passive sentences into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate the problems/errors.