It is difficult for teachers to be both popular (well-liked) and effective in helping students to learn.

Score: 74.6

Suggestions for Improvement

• Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
• Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

Problems Highlight

As some people are concerned, the only way to help students learn effectively is be [ grammatical ] a restricted and serious teacher. But I disagree with the statement that it [it + verb  ] is difficult for teachers to be both popular and effective in helping students to learn. Here are my reasons.

First of all, I believe that teachers who have a sense of humor can have [ weak verb ] students’ attention. For some students, it [ pronoun ] can not be avoid[grammatical/passive  ] that they will do their own things, like playing games, surfing the Internet and so on, during the class. But they are willing to listening[  grammatical] to the exciting stories and funny instances. It [ It + verb ] is helpful [ Effectiveness/redundancy ] for students to effectively review what they learned as they have[ weak ] [ article ] impression of those information[  grammatical] at least.

Another reason is that [ wordy ] teachers can use some interesting examples to help students have[ weak/repetition ] a better understanding of [ article ] key point. When teachers are giving lectures, students may do not [ grammatical/NOT ] fully understand the key point. At this time, teachers can give some vivid examples to help students to[ inconsistency/help do/help to do ] understand it[ pronoun ] . Obviously, it [ pronoun ] saves a lot of time for students to have[  weak] a good command of knowledge in the class. What is more, students can remember the key point for a long time. For teachers, they also get the love of[  preposition] their students.

Finally, being a popular teacher can acquire students’ respect and it[ it + verb ] is easier to manage students. Take my senior high school math teacher as an example. He is very popular among our students and all of us are well-organized when taking his class[ grammatical/past tense ] . Thus, he had saved a lot of time to keep the class quiet. As a result, we can [  grammatical] listen to our teacher carefully and clearly. What is more, the speed of our study progress is[ grammatical ] the fastest among the whole grade.

Based on these three points, I hold my opinion that enhancing students learning effectiveness requires teachers to be both well-liked and effective.

Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision.  Regards.

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Writing Tips

1. Absolute Statement: Avoid using absolute statement.
2. ARTICLE ERROR: errors concerning a, an, the. This is a prominent issue for Chinese students. Make sure to add/remove/change articles considering a specific context.
3. BE VERBS: BE verbs are dull and vague. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs whenever needed. I.E. commercials are beneficial to children. – Commercials benefit children.
4. COORDINATING CONJUNCTION error: In formal writing, a comma is needed when the 7 coordinating words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so – FANBOYS) are connecting sentences/clauses.
5. Effectiveness: use verbs instead of BE+adjectives to improve effectiveness.
6. Grammatical Errors: grammatical mistakes.
7. It + Be + Verb:  Wordy.
8. Logical confusion. Although a sentence is grammatically correct, often it is logically/factually confusing. Having written a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence is logically complete, and/or factually true.
9. NOT problem. Experienced writers often avoid using NOT in English writing. I.e. Jack was very upset because he had not passed the GRE test. – I.e. Jack was very upset because he had failed the GRE test.
10. PASSIVE VOICE: In many cases, clarity suffers when using passive voice. In particular linguistic contexts, using passive voice is fine.
11. Semicolon: Use a semicolon in front of an adverb/adverbial phrase.
12. Subjunctive: Memorize the grammatical rules for subjunctive mood.
13. There Be Sentence: Wordy
14. Unclear Pronouns: A pronoun (it, this, that, they, them., etc) unclearly refers to the prior content. For example, the first sentence contains two singular nouns, so IT in the second sentence can refer either of them.
15. Unparalleled Structure:  use paralleled structures, including tense.
16. VERBOSE: The sentence/phrase can be simplified.
17. WEAK VERBS: an alternative verb may help improve sentence effectiveness and clarity. The Internet makes us know many things. – The Internet helps us (to) know many things.