Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • tcneggw
    University: 东北师范大学人文学院
    Nationality: China
    December 19, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    In the modern city, many of people think that because of modern techonolgy it will be easy to have a good life. However I really believe that the ability of people to plan and organize is particular important to people.

    Because of there are a lot of lure in our life, it is very easy to do something bed for our life. Thus we must have ability to plan and organize. We must avoid being addicted in something that can distract our attention. We have to cope with our work, therefor, we do no have much time spending on basketball games or drinking some wines. And we should realize what we should do, instead of playing with our friends. There are so many people lose their goal in the society. Thus, it is really essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

    They must know their goals, and work for their goals. By this process, they will obtain their value.

    For another reason, planning and organizing will encourage them to work harder. If they have a clear plan, they will think about how to realize it, they will try to deal with the problem, they will obtain the ability to solve the problem. After they have solved problem, they will find that there is a huge progress had been made in their life. That will make people go ahead to achieve more goals. Take my brother Mike as an instance. He does not like to study, and always gets bed grades. But his favorite girl is a good student. Therefore he discided to study hard and get good grades. He make a intricate plan for good grades. He never give up and works so hard. Because of the hard work, he had got the best grades in his class. Eventually, he falls in love with his favorite girl. He told me the ability of making good plan helped him to achieve his goal. Both of us think that it is so cool to have ability to plan and organize.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 6, 2021 at 4:04 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts;
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.
    3. Lengthy paragraphs. Please shorten it to 90- words.
    tcneggw
    University: 东北师范大学人文学院
    Nationality: China
    January 10, 2021 at 1:35 pm

    Because there is a lot of lure in our life, it is very easy to do something distracted. Thus we must have capability to plan and organize. We must avoid being addicted to something that can distract our attention. We have to cope with our work, therefore, we do not have much time using on basketball games or drinking some wine. And we should realize what we should do, instead of playing with our friends. There are so many people lost their goal in the society. Thus, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

    They must know their goals, and work for their goals. By this process, they will prove their value.

    For another reason, planning and organizing will encourage them to work harder. If they have a clear plan, they will think about how to realize it. And they will try to deal with the problem. Also they will rise the ability to solve the problem. After they have solved problems, they will find that there is a very big progress had made in their life. That will make people go ahead to achieve more goals.
    Take my brother Mike as an instance. He does not like to study, and always gets low grades. But his favorite girl is a good student. Thus he discided to study hard and get good grades. He make an intricate plan for good grades. He never gives up and works so hard. Because of the hard work, he had got the best grades in his class. Eventually, he falls in love with his favorite girl. He told me the ability of drawing up a plan helped him to achieve his goal. Both of us think that it is so cool to have capability to plan and organize.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 10, 2021 at 8:17 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words. 
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    tcneggw
    University: 东北师范大学人文学院
    Nationality: China
    January 12, 2021 at 12:15 pm

    Because there is a lot of lure in our life, it is straightforward to do something distracted. Thus we must have ability to plan and organize. We can not be addicted to something that can distract our attention. We have to cope with our work and therefore, we do not have much time using on basketball games or drinking some wine. And we should realize what we should do, instead of playing with our friends. There are so many people lost their goals in society. Thus, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

    They must know their goals and work for them. By this process, they will prove their value.

    For another reason, planning and organizing will encourage them to work harder. If young people have a clear plan, they will think about how to realize it. And they will try to deal with the problem. Also, they will improve the ability to solve the problem. After they have solved problems, they will find that there is a raipd progress had made in their life. That will make people go ahead to achieve more goals.

    Take my brother Mike as an instance. He does not like study, and always gets low grades. But his favorite girl is a good student. Thus he discided to study hard and get good grades. He makes an intricate plan for good grades. He never gives up and works so hard. Because of the hard work, he had got the highest score in his class. Eventually, he falls in love with his favorite girl. He told me the ability to draw up a plan helped him to achieve his goal. Both of us think that it is so cool to have ability to plan and organize.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 12, 2021 at 7:37 pm

    Because there is a lot of lure[unclear/use literal writing  ] in our life, it[unclear pronoun  ] is straightforward[wrong word  ] to do (something distracted)[rephrase  ]. Thus we must have[vague/use stronger verb  ] [ article error ]ability to plan and organize. We can not[ spelling error ] (be addicted)[unclear/passive  ] to something[repetition/unclear  ] that can [ redundant ]distract our attention. We[starting a sentence with the same word  ] have to (cope with our work)[ unclear ] and therefore, we do not have much time using [wrong word  ]on basketball games or drinking (some wine)[  rephrase].[ punctuation error with conjunction word ] And we[start a sentence with the same word  ] should realize what we should do,[punctuation error  ] instead of playing with our friends. (There are so[ SO…. THAT ] many people)[ redundant/avoid using THERE BE ] lost their goals (in society)[ redundant ]. Thus, it[unclear pronoun  ] is essential for young people to (have the ability to plan and organize)[repetition  ]. They must know their goals and work for them[unclear pronoun  ]. (By this process)[ wrong phrase ], they will prove their value[ word form error ].

    For another reason, planning and organizing will encourage them[unclear pronoun  ] to work harder. If young people have[ grammatical error/subjunctive ] a clear plan, they will [ grammatical error/subjunctive ]think about how to realize it. [punctuation error with conjunction word  ]And they will try to deal with the problem[ what problem? ]. Also,[ spacing error ] they will improve the [article error  ]ability to solve the problem. After they have solved [grammatical error  ]problems, [ word form inconsistency ]they will find that (there is )[redundant  ]a raipd [spelling error  ]progress (had made in their life)[ unclear ]. That[ unclear pronoun ] will make[help  ] people (go ahead)[ unclear ] to achieve more goals.

    Take my brother Mike as an instance.[ Example should follow the topic sentence ] He does not like study[ grammatical error ], and always gets[grammatical error  ] low grades. [punctuation error with conjunction word  ]But his favorite girl is a good student. Thus he discided[  inconsistency in tense] to study hard and get good grades. [ All choppy sentences in this paragraph ]He makes an intricate plan (for good grades)[logical confusion  ]. He (never gives up and works so hard)[parallelism issue that causes confusion  ]. Because of the [ article error ]hard work, he had got[ inconsistency in tense ] the highest score in his class. Eventually, he falls in love with his favorite girl. He told me the[article error  ] ability to draw up a plan helped him to achieve his goal. Both of us think that it[unclear pronoun  ] is so cool to have [ article error ]ability to plan and organize[repetition  ].