It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Topics It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.

  • INES-Y
    University: 华中科技大学(Huazhong University of Science and Technology)
    Nationality: CHINA
    February 3, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.

    It is true that children at an early age distinct right and wrong with the assistance and guidance from eligible parenting. While to some degree, I believe that punishment is inevitable in certain circumstances,  I see no point in introducing punishment into every facet and the whole process of education.

    On the one hand, punishment is the key path for children to recognize their wrong behaviours. For immature kids with irrational minds, punishments, namely to be grounded at home or to be curtailed in allowance alike are more effective and straightforward to correct themselves. Because when they are crying for wrong needs, for instance they waste food in a lunchbox but begging for snacks ,they incline not to listen to parents’ talking. Another arguement worth mentioning  is that punishment can make kids truly understand how serious their mistakes are and they are supposed to reconsider and apologize for their previous behaviours.

    On the other hand, alongside the punishment, enough communication is imperative through parenthood. Punishment may directly solve the present situation, nonetheless pazzle kids if there is no communication that follows. Mutual communication, in my view, provides a platform for kids to response to the punishment. They could ask the reasons for the punishment and the expected behaviour when facing identical cases. In this way, kids learn from the mistake and parenting backs to its positive tracks.

    When it comes to the sort of punishment, I completely agree that non-violence is suggested. It is no use slamming or applying other violent ways. It is always wise to let kids conceal themselves or in another word, to write down or talk about the specific reason for doing that wrong behaviour and the whole process of it. To be more detailed, teachers are supposed to punish kids in a more moderate way and leave enough space for the kid’s parents. Also, parents should also consider the impact any severe punishment might leave.

    In conclusion, punishment and communication are equally vital and compound a great system of education. For me, non-violence punishment has its good reason to be allowed only.

     

    February 3, 2020 at 11:02 pm

    Score: 56.1

    Issues:

    1. More than 20% of sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts;
    2. Nearly 40% of sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    INES-Y
    University: 华中科技大学(Huazhong University of Science and Technology)
    Nationality: CHINA
    February 4, 2020 at 6:33 am

    It is true that children at an early age should distinct right and wrong with the guidance from eligible parenting. While I believe that punishment is inevitable in certain circumstances,  I see no point in introducing harsh discipline into every facet of education.

    On the one hand, punishment is the predominant path for children to recognize their wrong behaviours. For immature kids with irrational minds, punishments, namely to ground at home or to curtail in allowance alike, are more effective and straightforward to correct themselves. Because when they are crying for wrong needs,  they incline not to listen to parents’ talking. Another argument is that punishment can lead kids to reconsider and apologize for their previous behaviours.

    On the other hand, alongside the punishment, enough communication is imperative through parenthood. Punishment may directly solve the present situation, nonetheless puzzle kids without communication. Mutual communication provides a platform for kids to consider the punishment. They could ask the reasons for the punishment and the expected behaviour when facing identical cases. In this way, kids learn from the mistake, and parenting backs to its enlightened tracks.

    When it comes to the sort of punishment, I entirely agree with deploying non-violence discipline. It is simplistic and no use slamming or applying other violent ways. It is always wise to let kids write down or talk about the specific reason for doing that wrong behaviour. Teachers should punish kids in a more moderate way and leave enough space for the kid’s parents. Also, parents should also consider implications any severe punishment might leave.

    In conclusion, punishment and communication are equally vital to compound a decent system of education. For me, non-violence punishment has its good reason to be allowed only.

     

    February 4, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    Score: 51.9 (The software does not recognize British spelling; that might reduce your score a little.)

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    INES-Y
    University: 华中科技大学(Huazhong University of Science and Technology)
    Nationality: CHINA
    February 6, 2020 at 3:43 am

    It is true that children at an early age distinct right and wrong with the help from qualified parenting. While I believe that punishment is inevitable in certain circumstances,  I see no point in introducing harsh discipline into every facet of education.

    On the one hand, retribution is the predominant path for children to recognize their wrong behaviours. For immature kids with irrational minds, punishments, namely to ground at home or to curtail in allowance alike, are more effective and straightforward to correct themselves. Because when they are crying for wrong needs,  they incline not to listen to parents’ talking. Another argument is that discipline can lead kids to reconsider and apologize for their previous performances

    On the other hand, alongside the punishment, enough communication is imperative through parenthood. Retribution may directly solve the present situation, nonetheless, puzzle kids without conversation. Mutual communication provides a platform for kids to consider. They could ask the reasons for the discipline and the expected action when facing identical cases. In this way, kids learn from the mistake, and parenting backs to its enlightened tracks.

    When it comes to the sort of punishment, I entirely agree with deploying non-violence discipline. It is simplistic and no use slamming or applying other violent ways. It is always wise to let kids write down or talk about the specific reason for doing that wrong behaviour. Teachers should punish kids in a more moderate way and leave enough space for the kid’s parents. Also, parents should consider implications any severe retribution might leave.

    In conclusion, punishment and communication are equally vital to compound a decent system of education. For me, non-violence punishment has its manifest reason to be allowed only.

     

    P.S.  Is there any  logical problem in the essay? Thank you!

     

     

     

     

    February 14, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    Score: 52.1

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.